Cat in Heels

While I was in New Orleans I remarked on how flip flops are the unofficial shoe of the tourist. They were everywhere. From cemeteries to bars, breakfast lunch and dinner, casual and formal, apparently flip flops are the only thing you're supposed to wear. It's the flip flops with dresses that threw me. And I'm not being a nasty bitch here. I mean I am but I'm not. I'm not talking about sandals that happen to have the same style as flip flops, but have some kind of beading or are made of leather. I'm talking about $5, drugstore, unadorned, plastic flip flops. Then there were Crocs. Just kill me. The one good sidewalk in the city, and they leave metal sticking out. The crazy thing about the whole city though was that every store I saw was not only void of flip flops (which means people all bring their own), but void of heels in general. Unless of course it was a stripper store at which point there were heels, but they weren't the kind you wear wa...

Apparently going out to dinner with me is stressful. This week I was scheduled to have dinner with a friend. The night before our dinner my friend posted that she was stressing out about which shoes she was supposed to wear to dinner with me. Really, am I that judgmental? These are "big girl shoes." I assured my friend, via Twitter and text messages throughout the day that she could wear whatever shoes she wanted. We hadn't gotten together for months, and if she wanted to wear one gym shoe and one slipper, I still be happy to see her. I would also probably make fun of her, but that's because it would be funny looking. After work we met up, and true to her word, she was wearing her "big girl shoes." Normally a statuesque blond, she now towered over six feet tall, making any added height I had totally inconsequential. At my best I can get to 5'8", which is her height in flats. The "big girl" shoes she was so proud of? A nude...

I love being told about comfy shoes. Believe it or not this happens to me a lot; as in a couple times a week. It's usually led up to with someone saying, "Oh my god. I love those shoes but I could never walk in those. How do you walk in those? Don't your feet hurt? My feet hurt just looking at your feet in those shoes." Well, sorry that your feet are so damn sensitive that they hurt just looking at my shoes, but seriously, grow a pair. They're my shoes, not yours. I didn't walk up to you and ask how you could possibly show your face in public while wearing Crocs , and those are way more offensive than the highest heel I own. I wear these because they match my pants.  After I explain that yes, my feet feel pain, and yes, I am insane enough to choose the way I look over comfort, and yes, I realize that may not always be the case but I am not ready to give into something "comfy" I get a look like I'm insane and obviously don't know what I...

Oh wait. I am American. You'll immediately know us in other countries because we're the one in awkwardly large gym shoes, usually white and fluorescent colored, and we pair them with shorts (any color) and a t-shirt emblazoned with the name of the last place we've been. At least that was my experience on my amazing cruise through the Gulf of Mexico and western Carribbean. In Belize, you can spot the American because he's the one with the Washington DC shirt. And then there's the lady wearing the brand new shirt she bought in Costa Maya. It's orange. How subtle. Yes, people dress obnxious, but it was the "logical" and "comfortable" footwear that never failed to appall me. You'd think flip flops or sandals would be OK for the beach, but apparently Crocs are the new tropical footwear. And please don't forget your socks with any of the afore mentioned shoes. Shrimp in boots No, I didn't wear heels while hiking through the r...

I love watching people. What they wear, their mannerisms, habits, nervous twitches. And even more amazing is how people act when they think no one is watching. This is when you see the nose pickers, face makers, eye rollers, nail biters, and on and on. Today I encountered another breed of it. The casual from the waist down people. I work in an office where the vast majority of us spend our time sitting behind desks, typing, talking on phones and shuffling papers. The dress code is business casual, which leaves a lot open for interpretation. At one point today I was running around and noticed that not only are there those who push the "casual" part of "business casual" but there are also those who look great from the waist up, and the bottom half looks like they got dressed out of the hamper in the dark. It's like the clothing version of the mullet. This extends all the way down to the shoes (despite there being rules on footwear as well). Dirty gym sho...

A few years ago I was traveling for work and was stopped because my suitcase came in above the 50 lb max. It was like 51 lbs or something. So the baggage handler asked me to open  it up, take a pair of shoes out and transfer them to my other bag. This would not work, I explained. There were no shoes in the overweight bag, they were all in the second bag. He stared at me slack jawed for a moment and told me to forget about it and put the bags through. Shoes generally aren't portable. They're bulky, don't pack well, and if you have heels like mine, you risk stabbing your luggage or ripping something. Sure, it's a pain, but it's a price to pay for having a pair of shoes for every outfit. Luckily, someone has solved all of our shoe packing problems, and come up with a rollable shoe. Rolleez . Please note the sarcasm. Jury is still out on this one people.  A friend sent them to me and said she's buying them for her bridesmaids so they don't all change i...

As the weather warms up people start to bust out smaller clothes and shoes that bare a little more. Boots give way to sandals, slingbacks, peep toes, and everyone gets pedicures and has pretty feet (hopefully). Summer also brings some not-so-great fashions too, one of which I will never understand: Crocs I'm sure that plastic shoes are amazing if your gardening (which I don't) or happen to need to be able to clean your shoes in the sink, but as a fashion statement these are an amazing and instant failure. Really, has anyone actually looked at these and what they do to your feet. It's like Mickey Mouse feet in technicolor. And I bet they make your feet sweat. So now your feet are ugly, sweaty, and by default stinky. Comfort is no excuse for the litany of issues these shoes create. And now, to solidify their place in fashion forever, they have heels and wedges available. I have no doubt these will start cropping up around the office with business casual, as people go...