Cat in Heels

Happy Alien Day! A few weeks ago it was announced that on April 26 (Alien Day) Reebok would be releasing a replica of the the Alien Stompers Ripley wore in the 1986 movie Aliens , which were originally made by Reebok for the film.  For those who wanted something that isn’t a mid-calf gym shoe, there was a lower version, worn by Bishop, also being released. So here we are, April 26. Everyone is celebrating Administrative Professionals Day, and a few are also celebrating Alien Day. (For those who don’t know the date is a reference to the planet LV-426). Let’s go get our Alien Stompers on. Oh, except all you ladies. Yeah. All you ladies that wanted a pair of Alien Stompers like the ones Ripley, our female hero, wears in the film… Reebok says “fuck you.” Alien Stompers only come in men’s sizes. Yep. The shoe worn by one of the strongest, most iconic women on screen, a woman who unapologetically kicked ass movie after movie, who took out the Alien queen, cared for a...

There is really very little I hate more in this world than gym shoes. At least as far as footwear goes, and we all know I have a lot of hate for varying kinds of footwear. The really unfortunate thing about gym shoes is that they’re actually functional in their hideousness. Yes, they are easier to exercise in than heels, and make kickboxing way less dangerous. Probably everyone owns one pair. Most people own more than one pair. Gag. There’s no reason to buy more than one pair of hideous shoes, even if they are functional. If you have to wear a uniform to work do you buy extras so you can hang out in it later? As if the UPS guy goes home and puts on another pair of brown pants. Probably not. So what’s the obsession with gym shoes? The massive sales of such awful footwear make the fact that the U.S. is obese even more horrifying. That means people are wearing them for fashion. Jump in your DeLorean , you can now forget how to tie shoes Spreading even further into fashion, Nik...

A few weeks ago I asked a co-worker if she wanted to take part in a charity 5K run/walk our office was participating in. The exchange went back and forth via email as we pressured one another to participate, and finally I got this:    You will have to wear gym shoes though.  Can you handle it? Thanks for the vote of confidence.  I am happy to report that I not only did the whole thing in more than 80 degree heat with humidity that can only come from a swampland, but I'm not sore today, and my feet didn't shrivel up and fall off for wearing a pair of New Balance cross trainers.  Today I am back in heels, and no, there will not be photos of athletic shoes. They're all ugly. I look at the whole event, from wearing athletic shoes to walking/jogging 3.6 miles in almost 90 degree weather all part of my charitable contribution.  

That's my new title. I'm going to get business cards made that say I'm a "Shoe Fashion Specialist." If you're wondering what the hell that means, it means some clever reporter made up a title for me instead of calling me a blogger. The article is on men's shoes , and I can only hope that people read it and take heart. Men's shoes don't have to be expensive in order for them not to look like a total ass. Also, please take note that the certified image professional (this is actually what he does) and I agree on just about everything. The personal stylist (who also runs her own company dressing people) seems to be off the mark and said that it's OK to wear suits and sneakers. Please note that it is not OK, even when celebrities do it. Chances are they were hitting the bottle before leaving the house, and that's how they ended up in sneakers at an awards ceremony. I wonder what kind of career path I can take from here. Anyone need som...