Cat in Heels

There’s been a list going around for the last six or so months that recently popped back up in my Facebook feed. It’s 24 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After Age 30 . When it first showed up I ignored it, then it popped up again. Maybe it’s my impending birthday (where I will be continuing to push into the tick of my 30s) but today I saw it and it really pissed me off. Let’s examine some of the things that apparently expire one magic day when we pass a line on the calendar. Graphic tees – Seriously? Cause on the weekend that’s pretty much all I wear. My love of Guns ‘n’ Leopard through the ages Roses or my new Vampira t-shirt blazon their logos across my chest for all to see. Paired with a pair of Converse (old sneakers are also on the list) and some comfy jeans and I’m ready for a day at the park chasing screeching toddlers who are somehow covered in dirt before they even get out of their stroller. Leopard print – Screw you stupid writer (I refuse to name her and give h...

Anyone who has ever had a baby knows that it takes some time to get back to “normal.” And by time I mean I’m not entirely sure this is ever actually going to happen. Aside from the part where your body is pushed to physical limits you didn’t know were possible, there’s that whole weight gain thing.  If you’re one of those horrid women who bounced back in like a week without any changes, then screw you. Stop reading now and go somewhere and gloat. We are not friends. For the rest of you who are still with me on this quest to yoga my ass back in shape (seriously, what happened to my ass?) then welcome. You get it. In my total insolence and hatred of my new post-baby body I have been refusing to buy new clothes. I don’t like this new size and am determined to not stay here forever, therefore there’s no point in investing in clothes. As a result I am wearing the same 6 outfits all the time, none of which are quite my pre-pregnancy style. Luckily, I have my shoes. The magic ...

Getting dressed for a wedding is really stressful. You have to find something cute, but appropriate. Attractive, but not so attractive that you look better than the bridesmaids or, God forbid, the bride. And you can't ever match the bridesmaids. All this is one of the many reasons there is open bar at a wedding. So what happens when you're at a wedding in another state, there's no bar at the reception (cash or otherwise) and the girl seated next to you is wearing an eerily similar dress and the bride is swishing her lacy white dress all over the dance floor to gangster rap? You start texting your sister all the snarky things you're thinking and shouldn't say. This weekend I wasn't the snarky one. I was the sister. As the texts came rolling in, bitching about the lack of booze, the music, the absence of vegetarian menu options and the fact that Nirvana was turned into classical music for dinner, it was the girl unfortunately seated ext to her that was a...

I am a woman of many talents. I can bake, write, wear thing other people only dream about, do 50 things at one time, throw one hell of a party, and walk in just about any kind of shoe while doing any of the aforementioned activities. Those who lack the ability to walk in heels often do what my snarky friends and I have deemed the "cow walk." They lumber forward, their upper body at a slant forward or backwards as if they're about to tip over, knees bent, stomping one foot in front of the other, as if punishing the shoes. It's sort of like watching the Jolly Green Giant in drag. In all honesty I'm not sure what's so hard about walking in heels. I've been doing it since I could scuffle around my parent's room in my mom's shoes. Once I started buying them for myself I started small, and gradually built on height. I'm not sure when I started wearing things that only have platforms, and 4-5 inch heels became the norm, but that's exactly wh...

When my mom finds a sweater she likes, she then buys it in multiple colors. I never understood it. Then I saw this amazing pair of leopard shoes and found myself wondering, how many pairs of leopard shoes is too many? I think it's a family trait. I currently have two pair of leopard shoes. One is a pair of Mary Jane style wedges I hate and never wear. They will soon be in a garage sale. Another is a fabulous pair of Steve Madden with a wooden platform and heel and they're made of pony hair! How could those be any cooler? How about if they have a giant red ruffle on them? These shoes are so me that I had three people email me photos of them, and I tried to convince a friend to buy them so I can borrow them. She did not bite, and I was really having a hard time justifying this purchase. So then my thought was that I should find the same shoe with a peep toe, and then it's a totally different look. But then, these aren't horse hair, so it's really not the same...