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Inappropriate White

White shoes are kind of essential, right?

I mean, I don’t own any, but other people do, and they always look great (or only sometimes). They’re the essential summer work shoe, and are amazing for all those garden parties I don’t go to because none of my friends are that sophisticated (or have gardens) and so I decided that I need to get my first pair of white shoes since Easter when I was 5.

By the way, five-year-olds should not have white shoes, especially in patent leather. I’m pretty sure I somehow had grass stains on those before I even got outside.

After searching and being bored with so many of the white heels I came across, I finally found a pair on ShoeDazzle that looked pretty damn amazing. White snakeskin with gold studs on the top. And they were on sale.

Sold.
It's only a matter of time until I stab myself while
wearing these. 

After a shipping snafu where the package went to the wrong place, they finally arrived and I busted open the box with dreams of rocking my white heels to the office with that one thing I own that they will go with (and I’m not even sure yet what that is).

Or not.

Somehow I had missed that these heels, are iridescent white (I couldn’t get it to photograph) and the studs across the top turned into spikes on the outer edge of the top of the shoe. And when I say spikes, I mean that you could actually hurt yourself with these.  They are not garden party/afternoon tea appropriate heels. They were so much more badass and gorgeous than I could have imagined white shoes could ever be. They were also so much less work-appropriate than I could have imagined. My conservative work place is not too keen on shoes that can double as weapons.

Unfortunately, my amazing new shoes left me with two problems. 
1) I still don’t have anything to wear with my new white heels.
2) I don’t have white heels to wear to the office.

So the search continues, and maybe my next pick will possibly be a little more garden party and a little less punk rock.

Shop the look: From garden party to punk rock, you can find you perfect white pump here.

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