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Me Time

Cue the mid-life crisis.

Or not quite yet. I did have a birthday this summer, but it hasn't pushed me to 40 just yet. And it's not so much a crisis as it is a revelation and the decision to do something to take myself back.

In the last year so much has happened and I haven't written a word. Well, I have written, but then I get a draft, get busy and move on. By the time I think about posting it again it seems dated and like it needs a total rewrite, which I don't always have time for.

Now I'm making time. I'm taking charge of something in my life and I am making time to write. I feel more like me when I write. I have so much to say, and yet I'm a very private person who isn't the best at doing things like going out or making friends. I always joke with my extroverted husband that I only have like eight friends. That may be an exaggeration now and the number is actually lower, but they're all really, really good friends. The kind I can call if I need a body buried who would show up with a shovel and a bottle of vodka and ask questions later. Those friends.

But those friends have their own lives too. And now that we're all adults and have jobs and kids and families and stuff (so much stuff) there isn't as much time for our friends. In fact there isn't as much time for my anything. Exercise, reading, TV shows, drinking... instead it's all work and kids and birthdays and school, and snack day and bringing the computer home for the 4,826th day in a row and conference calls and, and, and...

This is life. It's mine and it's yours. And like me, you probably wouldn't trade it for the world, but sometimes you just want it all to freeze frame and stop for a minute so you can have one minute, just one without all that stuff. 

So that's what this is. This blog. My writing. It's my effort at making it all stop. Of making time for myself and having a moment. Of putting my thoughts into the computer and inexplicably sharing my private, introverted life with total strangers. Also it's affording me some time with my thoughts that isn't spent working out, waiting for it to be over.

I'm a wife, a professional, a mother, a friend, a daughter, many different roles constantly being filled. Let's all resolve to find the moments we can be ourselves. I'm finding my moment where I can just be me.