Cat in Heels

I decided this winter I needed silver shoes. That makes sense, right? I didn't have any, I just bought this great gray-silver silk button down, and the whole look would be perfect for the holidays. It's also freakishly easy to find metallic heels around the holidays. But I procrastinated. I saw shoes I liked, and put it off. Then they were out of stock on my size. I saw other shoes that were great, but open toe, and I wanted a closed toe. Others were amazing but out of my price range. Too sparkly, not sparkly enough, too dark, too shiny. I want something that looks like I have mirrors on my feet, now I want something subtle that I can wear to work. My totally basic silver pumps On and on this stupid mind game went until I saw a pair on massive sale, bit the bullet and ordered some classic silver pumps with a closed toe, platform, and 5 inch heel. Unfortunatly I also waited so long that they didn't get to me in time for Christmas. So yesterday I walked in and my hu...

It’s the holidays. To most people that means an additional 10 pounds and the excuse to dress like that crazy aunt from your childhood who always wore too much perfume and was never at a holiday party without head to toe sparkles and velvet on. Right now, I am telling you that is no longer going to fly (and I'm pretty sure I'm becoming that crazy aunt). These Louboutin's are not just for Christmas Now it's time to embrace the crazy, sparkly side of yourself. Right now, raise your right hand and swear to me that you are not going to buy some dress or shoes make of sequins and glitter just for Christmas and New Year’s, only to then abandon it in all it's glittery glory to collect dust somewhere in the recesses of your closet, right next to the collection of clothes that you can't return because you can't figure out where they came from. If you have the balls to wear glitter, sequins, and otherwise channel the Times Square ball at the holidays, you h...

I love being told about comfy shoes. Believe it or not this happens to me a lot; as in a couple times a week. It's usually led up to with someone saying, "Oh my god. I love those shoes but I could never walk in those. How do you walk in those? Don't your feet hurt? My feet hurt just looking at your feet in those shoes." Well, sorry that your feet are so damn sensitive that they hurt just looking at my shoes, but seriously, grow a pair. They're my shoes, not yours. I didn't walk up to you and ask how you could possibly show your face in public while wearing Crocs , and those are way more offensive than the highest heel I own. I wear these because they match my pants.  After I explain that yes, my feet feel pain, and yes, I am insane enough to choose the way I look over comfort, and yes, I realize that may not always be the case but I am not ready to give into something "comfy" I get a look like I'm insane and obviously don't know what I...

Dental work is never fun. Well, maybe it's fun for some people, but not for me. So I can't say I got real dressed up this last Friday when I had to be at the periodontist for gum surgery when I normally would be going to work. So there I am, shaking and terrified. Fumbling with my iPod, which is some kind of crappy attempt to not hear the work going on inside my own mouth, and suddenly the dental assistant scoots her chair in front of me and looks me straight in the eyes.  Let's talk about your shoes.  "I love those shoes." Ummm...thanks? It's 9:00 am, and I'm almost in tears waiting for you and your masochist doctor to put me into more pain than my mouth has ever been in, I look like crap, am not wearing makeup, and you want to talk about my shoes.  That would happen to me.  Forty-five minutes later I walked out of the office, feeling my jaw steadily swelling, and fearing the pain that would smack me in the face the second my Novoc...

I was never this cool. Neon really tears me apart. It brings mental images of braces, tall fried-out bangs, Aqua Net and my awkward phase. Neon is my reminder of that time in life they make crappy tween shows about, except I was WAY less glamorous. At the same time, neon is Jem , The Misfits (Jem's rival not the real punk band) and Barbie and the Rockers , Cyndi Lauper and everything that was (and probably still is) so much cooler than me.  So far I have avoided the neon revival, fearing that the second I place a piece on my body the gap in my teeth will magically appear, my bathroom will fill with Paul Mitchell and Aqua Net products, my hair will no longer be awesome, and my tits will get smaller. They come in multiple colors The other side of me wants to embrace it and add the neon pieces to my wardrobe, and live out some kind of Barbie and the Rockers fantasy where I look great in everything no matter how asinine it may be, all my friends are equal...

In case you haven't been following my tweets over the last week, I've been traveling. A lot. As in less than 72 hours at home this weekend before I went back to the office and then to the airport. Now I'm in a hotel in San Francisco and my husband and dog are forgetting who I am. Just high enough to keep my hem from dragging. And before you start thinking this is all glamorous, let me tell you, it's not. I do not get to see the city I am in. I don't have time to shop, or visit (assuming I know anyone in the city which is rare). My days start before the sun comes up and end after it goes down. None of which makes any difference because I rarely get to see a window and actually bear witness to the fact that the sun came out. Hell, it may not have come out at all. Makes little to no difference to me. All the traveling causes shoe issues. What does one wear when you're going to be tearing around airports and standing for hours at a time? Something professio...

Sarah Nicole Prickett has said that wedges are the most feminist of all heels. Probably. They're easy to walk in (generally) and give good height and lift, without the ball-bearing pain of stillettos. You always have a full foot on the ground, and they're generally too thick to slip into sidewalk cracks and sewer grates, so you're less likely to stumble into a face first meeting with the concrete. Who's about to look like Frankenstein? They're also a tricky design that can go very, very wrong very easily, and not all shoe manufactureers have been successful at pulling off this increasingly popular, and feminist heel. Currently a popular way to give boots a little lift, I have seen as many people wear this well, as I have seen women channeling the old Frankenstein monster in both styling and walk. You can always spot a crappy wedge boot when it looks like the wearer's feet have been encased in blocks. No shape or texture to the wedge, and no change in...

This year's Black Friday shopping adventure really wasn't that exciting. It was exciting because there were great deals, and I got to spend the day with my sister, niece and mom, but there weren't any crazed shoppers pushing people out of the way, pulling hair and hitting one another with display heels in an effort to get the last size medium dress. Same boots, different day Instead we shopped our way through the mall grabbing great deals, and finding some really nice stuff for Christmas gifts. My two-year-old niece waved at Santa (the highlight of her day), danced to music in every store, and pointed out all the shoes she thought were "So cute." For being two, she has great taste in shoes. Surprisingly, I didn't buy any shoes today. Or maybe that's not surprising because I was actually Christmas shopping, and for once not focusing on myself. At least not the whole time. I also learned that my Kensie boots look awesome, but are not the best ...

One year ago, on November 20, 2010 I got married and I wore these amazing shoes that I was convinced I would wear again. It's how I justified the expense mere days before the wedding. It turns out glitter heels aren't my most versatile shoes, and they're not really work appropriate, so they haven't been worn in the last 12 months. Sparkles at least once a year. Finally tonight I pulled them out again and wore them to our anniversary dinner. I paired them with a red and purple skirt and purple top, and braved the November wind with bare legs and a leopard faux fur coat, and the hubby and I went out to dinner at the original Morton's Steakhouse for an amazing anniversary dinner. Once home we ate a piece of the now-defrosted cake top (for luck), drank a bottle of  ice wine , hung out with the dog, and watched the American Music Awards, and realized that in one year our life hasn't changed much. Twelve months ago to the day were were partying our butts...

According to some economists, fashion can predict the rise and fall of the economy. There's the skirt theory that when skirts are shorter, the economy is doing better. Supposedly this is something that's been proven over time . I never thought this made any damn sense, because you'd think that the worse the economy the shorter the skirt, because short skirts use less fabric, and would therefore be cheaper. Love these heels, but 6" doesn't work for the office. Now just to make this extra brain-busting, IBM Global Business Services did some kind of study and decided that heels height is also an economic indicator. The higher the heel the worse the economy. So apparently when the economy is down we all hide our towering heels under maxi dresses, but when we're flush we bust out the mini skirts and flats. I'm going out on a limb here and say that economists aren't always the most fashionable people, and it's probably a male dominated indu...

Every year I wait until the last minute to go Christmas shopping. I’m one of those people who doesn’t even think about it until Black Friday, then spends hundreds of dollars over the next few weeks, praying that I have money left over for the light bill. Buying myself little gifts in there probably doesn’t help. And I don’t even need to explain the amazingness that is online shopping. What isn’t done the weekend before Christmas is done on lunch hours from my desk. This year there’s yet another option added to the long list of online retailers, but this one is different. Mostly because it’s a well established British brand, and their stuff is very cool. Very.com is launching in the U.S. and brings a bit of British style to our computers, and eventually our closets. A part of the Shop Direct Group, the UK's largest online retaileer, they have everything from clothes to shoes and accessories for men and women, and prices to fit any budget.  Firetrap Fire Form - As good...

Almost one year ago to the day I bought a pair of pinkish-red glitter heels from Bakers to wear on what is probably one of the most important (and definitely the most expensive) days of my life. My wedding. Thanks for not having these a year ago Bebe. As soon as the bridesmaids were in hot pink, and I got my now-husband's OK to go all Punk Barbie-on-Acid with the dresses and colors, I knew I had to have hot pink shoes, and glitter was (of course) ideal. It was also (of course) nowhere to be found (unless I bought Louboutins , which I couldn't afford). I had settled on a pair of hot pink satin ruffled heels, and then found the glitter ones, fell in love, bought them, got married, and moved on with my life. My wedding shoes, which were perfect in their own way Now, one week shy of my 1st wedding anniversary and I swear that pink glitter shoes are practically attacking me. Probably out of spite. Pink glitter boots, wedges, heels...you name it and some asshole so...

I walk uphill to work in heels. This morning it was also pouring rain, which managed to find its way into my shoes and my purse, so I started the day with wet feet, a wet wallet and a crappy disposition. In Chicago we consider this a hill. As I sat at my desk, seriously considering rain boots for the millionth time, I got an email from Piperlime . 20% off all day because it's their birthday or some shit. Excited (as excited as you can be about rain boots), I decided to bite the bullet and join the Hunter cult. I looked at a million pairs of boots, and finally decided on short (my man-calves are too big for the knee high), plain black. Leopard print wooly inserts to come later. But it turns out the coupon code wasn't good on Hunter boots. Probably because they're hideous and expensive, but apparently practical so people spend ass-tons of cash on them. My sister/cult member told me to get over it and pointed out that they're good in rain and snow and we liv...

Madonna in Dior Celebrities are generally looked to as being trend setters or shining examples of what not to wear. Few have managed to land on both of these lists (sometimes simultaneously) than Madonna . Her empire reaches far and wide, and she's now joining the long list of celebs who are calling themselves shoe designers. Madonna already has the successful Material Girl collection, but she's branching into adults accessories, fragrance, lingerie and shoes with Truth or Dare , which will again be available at Macy's .  I will shamelessly admit I have already mentally committed to getting this collection, and I'm not sure they've even started designing yet. Performing in Louboutin. Some have said that this jump makes no sense, but I beg to differ. Madonna's shoes and accessories have been making lists and magazines for years. The Chanel gun-heel shoes are only one such example. And as for lingerie, we all remember the famous Gaultier cone br...

When I was in college I went to a haunted house. I also went to one in high school and one when I was in third grade. The whole experience was generally terrifying, and despite my love of horror movies and all things Halloween, I vowed to never go again. This year my husband tricked me into going in the name of family fun, and promised that if I survived we could go see the original Nightmare on Elm Street  (Johnny Depp in a half shirt), which was showing at a recently restored theater in the city. To my absolute horror I found out we weren’t going to some small little haunted house either. It was Dream Reapers , A big, scary haunted house with Yelp reviews and more actors than animatronics. The kind where people chase you through the parking lot because they think it’s funny to hear you scream and watch you run. The kind I had successfully spent years avoiding. Where's Freddy when you need him? When we got to the haunted house we stood in line, and I looked down at my...

Generally I am not a magazine person. I used to be, but that's when I was in high school and the Internet was all slow and dial up, and it took 20 minutes to load a page. Somehow I ended up on a mailing list for a couple magazines though. One about destination weddings (which I didn't have), one fitness magazine (I us it as a coaster for my vodka) and one fashion magazine. Believe it or not, I actually read the fitness and the fashion magazine, as if I'll somehow get prettier and have better abs through osmosis. Of course, then I run into an article that reminds me why I don't read fashion magazines. An article on the secret messages your outfit is sending men, sent me into a tizzy this weekend. Mostly because I don't give a shit what message my outfit sends (I dress for me, not some dude) and the advice therein was beyond stupid. Among the brilliant tidbits: Logos on your clothes mean you shop a lot (I always thought it meant you're totally uninspire...

I wanted new shoes for a wedding I had to attend. New shoes to go with a new dress. I had the perfect shoe in mind to go with my scarlet, one shoulder cocktail dress. Black, closed toe, t-strap, moderate heel. And apparently not something that's been in style since the 1950s. My husband also needed shoes, so we went out and started hitting store after store around the city looking for my t-straps and his new dress shoes. He was being all picky about the dress shoes though, and basic black just wasn't what he wanted. His new shoes and my old ones.  Almost at the end of our search and resigning ourselves to wearing shoes we already owned, I coaxed my hubby into one more place. Figaro European Shoes, tucked just off the main road with sky high heels in the front window. He rolled his eyes as he walked in,  and then those eyes went wide. More than half the store was men's shoes, and they were unique. Super unique and ostentatious, loud as hell and totally his style....

Today an article about model's feet hit the Internet and made people all over want to gag.  What happens when models are in runway shows day after day, tromping around in heels, acting as human coat hangers for the newest fashions? Their feet look damaged, and probably hurt like hell.  My initial reaction was that it was awful, but once I thought about it a little, I decided it's really not that bad. Especially once you take all the various factors into account.  For one, models don't always get to wear shoes that fit. Sometimes they jam their feet into shoes that are too small, and sometimes they have to strap on shoes that are too big. In both cases they then have to walk like there's no problem.  Lucky for them those runways are usually pretty short.  Photo courtesy of Fashionista.com So really, what are the big problems that heels cause when you spend Fashion Week walking runways? Runaway pinkie toes in strappy sandals, blisters, ...

I hate airport security. Not only is it inconvenient, and you have to take your shoes off, but I'm terrified of being searched. Which, given my frequent traveling and carry on luggage, periodically happens.  The suspicious bags and coat.  Today I get to thank LaGuardia for running my giant, hot pink bag through the x-ray machine so many times I think it may have cancer, and unpacking my carry on twice. Because the first time they weren't satisfied that my makeup bag was the offending object. Convinced there was still something hidden in the one compartment carry-on, they pulled out blazers, shoes, knee highs, panties, hair brushes and shoes twice. Of course this attracts attention, because everyone wants to know what kind of contraband the girl in the ruffled designer trench coat with a giant ruffled purse is carrying in her enormous, loud, pink bag. Turns out contact solution may have been the problem. Or a shoe, which security kept telling me she lov...

My bio notes that I own a pair of gym shoes, which I do. I'll admit to it. I even wear them sometimes, like when I workout. I don't like to discuss working out because it's generally gross, sweaty and leaves you an unattractive mess, but if you want to teeter around in giant freaking heels, you've got to lace up those sneakers and go for a damn run. Strong legs don't just show up and maintain themselves. Nike Chicago LunarGlide+3 a.k.a. my new motivation The problem I always run into (pun intended) is that I need some kind of motivation (aside from calorie burning), which is when I turn to shopping. Because a new pair of workout clothes that haven't been marred by sweat and hate can get your ass out on the pavement or in the gym. This weekend I was lucky enough to have motivation slap me in the face when I attended the launch of Nike 's new shoe, the Chicago LunarGlide+3 shoe at Akin . Chicago artist Tara D designed the Chicago version of the shoe...

Heels are actually functional. They're not just for fashion or for making your legs look long, they're actually for your horse. Big collars and tall shoes. She was all the rage.  Oh, you don't have a horse? Me either, but that's totally what they were made for. That way your feet don't slide off the stirrups while you're riding. Luckily a woman who shares my name decided that heels were a brilliant idea and brought them into fashion. Catherine 'de Medici , queen of France, had two inch heels put on her wedding shoes.  Or, more likely, she had someone else do it for her. This is arguably the first instance of heels being used for fashion instead of function. Suddenly men and women were wearing heels to show their status in this world, because apparently only peasants wear flats. Louis XIV of France even went so far as to outlaw anyone other than aristocrats from wearing flats. Inspired by Marie Antoinette who lost her head in 2 inch heels. Hence...

Getting dressed for a wedding is really stressful. You have to find something cute, but appropriate. Attractive, but not so attractive that you look better than the bridesmaids or, God forbid, the bride. And you can't ever match the bridesmaids. All this is one of the many reasons there is open bar at a wedding. So what happens when you're at a wedding in another state, there's no bar at the reception (cash or otherwise) and the girl seated next to you is wearing an eerily similar dress and the bride is swishing her lacy white dress all over the dance floor to gangster rap? You start texting your sister all the snarky things you're thinking and shouldn't say. This weekend I wasn't the snarky one. I was the sister. As the texts came rolling in, bitching about the lack of booze, the music, the absence of vegetarian menu options and the fact that Nirvana was turned into classical music for dinner, it was the girl unfortunately seated ext to her that was a...

Rainy days destroy me. I never know what to wear, I don't own rain boots, always get water in my shoes, I'm short enough that my pants drag on the ground and get muddy and wet, and my hair goes flat. Rain and I are not good friends at all. This weekend I had a kid's birthday party to attend. Party in the park with yelling children hopped up on pizza, caffeinated pop and cake frosting (because none of them eat the cake part), and then they run off to play on equipment that can't give them splinters or tetanus like playgrounds of yore. This leaves the adults alone to sip beer out of coffee cups (because park rules frown on drinking outside at noon), and talk about adult things like the economy, work, how much they both suck, and of course, shoes. I was standing around, drinking my beer and nodding about some economic story or discussing work, hoping no one bloodied a nose on the playground, and wondering how bad my hair looked because of the on again, off again rain...

A few days ago I couldn't find the shoes I was looking for in the closet. There I am, rushing around, getting ready for work, probably brushing my teeth while trying not to trip on a shoe and end up bleeding to death on the floor of my closet with a stiletto in my temple, and I couldn't find my damn navy blue heeled loafers. Finally I gave up, grabbed a different pair and ran off to work. Once I got to the office all my suspicions were confirmed. The missing shoes were sitting in a drawer. Yep, a drawer. Some people own less shoes than I keep at work. I have managed to create a shoe drawer at work in one of my file cabinets. It's rare that I travel to work in certain shoes, especially when it's raining or snowing. Sure, cheap shoes put up with crap weather, but rain ruins suede and tweed, sidewalk construction can rid the patent off a pair of covered heels, and snow...I don't even feel the need to explain myself. As a result of big city living, I often c...

There is really very little I hate more in this world than gym shoes. At least as far as footwear goes, and we all know I have a lot of hate for varying kinds of footwear. The really unfortunate thing about gym shoes is that they’re actually functional in their hideousness. Yes, they are easier to exercise in than heels, and make kickboxing way less dangerous. Probably everyone owns one pair. Most people own more than one pair. Gag. There’s no reason to buy more than one pair of hideous shoes, even if they are functional. If you have to wear a uniform to work do you buy extras so you can hang out in it later? As if the UPS guy goes home and puts on another pair of brown pants. Probably not. So what’s the obsession with gym shoes? The massive sales of such awful footwear make the fact that the U.S. is obese even more horrifying. That means people are wearing them for fashion. Jump in your DeLorean , you can now forget how to tie shoes Spreading even further into fashion, Nik...

What kind of shoes do you wear to Fashion's Night out when it's drizzling and you're in a suit? Iron Fist Nightmare heels. They matched my red jacket and black pants, and provided a bit of flair for Fashion's Night Out and the opening of Topshop Chicago. The evening started with me getting stuck at the office. Isn't that always the way things go? By the time I got out and got to Topshop my sister was lost in the bowels of the packed store. Bunnies in Bloomie's Twenty minutes and four failed phone calls later, we finally met up among seas of oddly dressed people staring at furry vests and took advantage of the hairstylists on hand to fix my now wet hair and we headed over to the 900 N. Shops. Scads of rich people roamed through the high end mall, cocktails in hand, toting bags from Karen Millen and Gucci . We shopped more within our budget at Banana Republic and coveted half the collection at Charles David , including a pair of black patent and pony ...

The human obsession with shoes dates back to the first time some cave man strapped pieces of dead animal to his foot and tied it on, forever changing the human foot. Sure, the first shoes probably weren't very pretty, but neither are gym shoes and people wear the heck out of those.  I came across a link to a National Geographic article called " The Joy of Shoes " that DNA Footwear linked to. This amazing article chronicles the history of a few different kinds of shoes, interviews the master of shoes, Manolo Blahnik , and shows that shoes really can be a window into the soul (sole?) of humanity.  A chopine required having servants help you walk. Shoes are everything. From identifying social status to bronzed baby shoes of the deceased and the war that brought us floor ruining stilettos, shoes define us and can define a generation or culture. No wonder women are so obsessed with them. Not only are shoes wearable art, they are wearable history. You are actual...

The debate about tights and open toed shoes has raged long and hard within fashion. I am adamantly against tights and open toed shoes in any capacity. It just isn’t a look that works on anyone, regardless of what kind of clever tight/shoe color combination you put together. Fishnet tights and peep toes are passable in my opinion, but I still am not an ardent supporter. Either find new shoes or polish those toes and go bare legged. And no, I don’t give a shit if it’s winter, there’s a foot of snow on the ground and the wind chill is -80. Look good or change your outfit. A friend of mine was texting me this weekend asking about my feelings on tights and open toe shoes, trying to get my blessing, which I just refused to give. She gave me all kinds of excuses. Good shoes made bad. Her friend from LA did it and it looked cute She had it on right now and looked good It’s not as bad as I think Cosmo totally had it featured in a recent issue The last one is my favorite bec...