Thursday, August 28, 2014

Coupons and Self Control

As soon as something is discounted I buy it. Seriously. If you ever want me to buy something then send me a gift certificate or coupon for some amount of money off that is a multiple of $5.

The best month for this for everyone, is of course birthday month. Well, August just happens to be
Duckie's creepers. I need to find these.
mine, and while I am a year older (and a hell of a year that was) I have not gained any self-control when it comes to the topic of spending money because I get to save money. Just ask Ulta about the damage I did last night because I was promised discounts and a free birthday mascara (which they were out of).

DSW is one of the many places that sends me a gift certificate for my birthday, knowing they’ll lure me in with $5 or $10 off. So of course I packed up the twins and went shoe shopping.

One thing that you all need to know about me shoe shopping (as if you don’t already know) is that logic and wearability has very little to do with why I buy shoes. Instead I buy shoes like animals hunt. Totally on instinct and without logic or forethought. So as I wandered around I was not considering what kind of shoes I should be getting. Especially with the new shoe size the twins gave me, you would think I would have some kind of plan.

Nope. I just buy whatever all willy nilly, which explains why I have a pair of red pumps, black and white heels, and black, laser cut peep toes.  So of course this trip involved buying a pair of shoes simply because the reminded me of the shoes Duckie wears in Pretty in Pink.

By the way, they’re nothing like the creepers Duckie wore (which are seriously awesome).
Nothing like creepers, but I kind of love them.

These are black…shoes. Seriously, I don’t know what they are. They are open but aren’t sandals, they have an ankle strap with buckles, they don’t have a heel… They’re not creepers and they’re not heels. But they’re also flat enough I can wear them out with the twins. (You try carrying 2 carries or babies in heels). 

Once I got them home I also figured out that they would look awesome with harem pants. Unfortunately, I would not look awesome in harem pants (does anyone?) and was at a loss of what to wear them with. Finally I threw them on with a black cotton skirt, graphic t-shirt and giant sunglasses and called it my new summer uniform.

All because DSW knows just how to get me. Speaking of which, I just got another $5 emailed to me. Guess where I'm going this weekend.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Catching Up on Louboutin



Deadly perfection
I need to start using my iPad more. I bet I can nurse babies and type on my iPad. (You’re welcome for that disturbing visual). I also need to not be sick, which I’m not anymore, so that’s a good start. And if both babies would sleep through the night, then I’d totally have it together and write on a way more regular basis. I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in over 5 months.

Now that I’m done with my excuses, let’s talk Louboutin.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock you know that the shoe genius released a line of nail polish, priced at the pretty penny of $50 a bottle. Despite being the most expensive nail lacquer I know of, it is also sold out everywhere.

I attribute this to a few factors:
  1. The bottle is totally bad ass and made of crystal
  2. The bottle top can double as a weapon. You can stab someone and then finish your manicure. It’s like James Bond toys for women.
  3. Everyone wants to own something Louboutin and $50 is just the price point where we can all do it.
The eight inch tall, bottle with its spire top is inspired by the sky-high, literally unwearable stilettos

The other thing Louboutin has done is release the shoes Angelina Jolie wore to the Maleficent premier (on a limited basis of course). The pointed toe hollow wedge heel was designed to look like tendrils of smoke and were designed by Christian Louboutin and Ms. Jolie. They’re called Malangeli, and personally my favorite ones were the white ones with the blood on them that she wore to the London premier.

If you want one of the 96 pairs being released, then you’re going to have to drop $1,495, but most of the profit goes to benefit SOS Children's Village, an organization close to Jolie's heart that helps orphaned and abandoned children.

Fab shoes and great nails are apparently only for those who move fast and have some money. Oh Louboutin, I love you.

I want them.
Louboutin created for a 2007 photo exhibit. The line's signature color is the trademark-protected, rich red of the designer's signature soles. Of course other colors are coming too, but they’re all limited, so be sure to move fast because these are flying off the shelves.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

No One Notices My Shoes Anymore

I’ve decided the best way to live life post-baby is to simply pack the little droolers up (seriously, so much drool) and do the things I used to do. Except go to bars. Babies aren’t welcome in bars.
Granted, packing them up is like an hour ordeal, which includes figuring out which of the three strollers to take (none of which are ideal), making sure there’s at least one extra outfit per baby, bottles, maybe a breastpump (and accessories), diapers, wipes, baby sling (because sometimes they hate the stroller), and I’m sure there’s other random crap I pack without even thinking of it.

Nightmare heels by Iron Fist
This weekend Husband and I packed up the girls and their little ruffle-butts and drove off to Flashback Weekend, a local horror movie convention. Because babies should totally be at horror conventions. It also gave me a chance to wear my Freddy Krueger shoes again, this time with the chance that Robert Englund would see them, because he was there somewhere.

For the record, no I didn’t see him, and he didn’t see my shoes. But there were plenty of people I did get to meet and talk to, and none of them noticed my shoes because I was with the twins. When I’m with them I could not have a head and no one would notice because there’s twins.

I did meet and get a picture with Lance Henriksen, which is a life highlight for me. He was very sweet, signed a picture of Bishop for Husband and I, and took a picture with us. He also spent some time talking to the girls who were lying back in their stroller, hanging out, having no idea that a living film legend was touching their feet.

Husband says their feet are never getting washed again. I’m pretty sure by the end of the day they had already spit-up on their feet.

We also couldn’t leave without getting a picture of the twins with the Soska Sisters. Writers and directors of American Mary (if you haven’t seen it go watch it now) and owners of Twisted Twins Productions the identical twins, Jen and Sylvia, are creating quite a buzz in the film community. They are also two of the sweetest girls in the world, and were thrilled to take pictures of the twins, including risking getting spit-up on to hold them.

Seriously, how cute is this?
One day the twins may think I’m cool because I was getting their picture taken with horror directors when they were just infants. Plus I think it’s a good lesson if they ever decide to go into business together. Becoming the next generation of Doublemint Twins is not the only career option. Plus they’re fraternal, so that would never work (and we’re more of a Grady Twins family). Maybe their early meeting with the Soska Sisters will rub off on them and they’ll start a company together doing something they love. 

So no one noticed my shoes all day. I pushed the stroller in my Nightmare platforms for nothing because I was preceded by ruffle-butt babies who did their best to charm everyone (Traci Lords thought they were adorable).  At least I had a good profile. I also know that next year it doesn’t matter what I wear because no one pays attention to me when the twins are in tow.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

If the Shoe Doesn't Fit

When I got pregnant everyone kept telling me how it was going to change my feet. How my feet would get bigger, or flatter, or both.

Once in a while a little ray of light would come through and some woman would tell me that her feet didn’t change at all. Everything was the same as it always was and all her shoes fit even better than before she was pregnant. (Yeah, I made that last bit up).

My new shoes need to be even bigger.
I’ve decided the women who didn’t have any foot changes are either lying or were those horrid people who gain like 10 pounds and have that perfect, round, little bump that looks like the fake belly women wear in maternity catalogs.

Being pregnant with twins I gained almost 50 pounds, my feet swelled, and my bump was more of a giant belly mound that expanded forward, up, down and sideways, threatening to crush me at every turn. Luckily, as soon as I gave birth I lost all but 5 pounds (muscle mass is a different story), my feet slowly stopped being all swollen, and my stomach went back to some semblance of normal. Unfortunately, my feet are also bigger.

How much bigger remains some kind of mystery. I have gone up a half to a whole size at times, yet still have shoes in my own closet that fit. Others have turned into some kind of cruel joke.

Last week I got two pair of shoes I ordered, including this amazing red, black and white pair from Gwen Stefani’s gx line. I went up half a size from my pre-pregnancy size since I has been wearing my old shoes all week.

Well, it must have been some kind of joke. There I was in the living room trying to jam my
I couldn't even jam my giant feet past the black strap.
previously size 7 foot into these heels, looking like I’m reenacting the role of Cinderella’s evil step-sister. My husband sat by staring, probably afraid to ask anything as I was cussing and getting that lip tremble that says I may start crying because I still randomly cry at things vaguely related to babies or my pregnancy. Finally he timidly says, “Maybe they run small.”

Good husband. Thank you for not pointing out my previously creepy, small feet are now vaguely human size, which is great for things like walking, but renders thousands of dollars of shoes that we had a whole closet built for totally useless.

Now I’m sending my giant box of shoes back in hopes a half size up fits. If not, then I will blame the shoes for being a bad cut and move on with my life after a good cry. With all the other changes that have been going on and the new life I’m adapting to, going up more than a whole shoe size is simply unacceptable.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

The Next Steps in New Shoes

Since having the twins four months ago I’ve been busy. I’d love to blame that on why I haven’t blogged a lot too, but the truth is that since they were born I have struggled with my blog identity.

How is Cat in Heels still the same Cat when she can’t go out anymore. What kind of adventures do my shoes have now? I go to work, and come home, and then play with babies (and by play I mean breastfeed with a little playing) until they go to bed. Then I say a prayer no one wakes up in the middle of the night so I can actually sleep and stay up too late watching movies with the husband.

New shoes to fit my new, bigger feet.
From where I was sitting the glamor of what was probably a pretty boring life to begin with, was gone.  Now I’m a woman with twin babies, who works full time, doesn’t sleep and has no clothes because I refuse to shop for my current post-postpartum body. Finally I came to the conclusion that you, dear reader, are here not necessarily because I talked about shoes, but because of my life, my adventures, and yes, my shoes.  And while the person I am has changed, that doesn’t change my obsession with shoes, fashion, workaholicness (that’s not even a word) or alcohol (thank god I can drink again).

So hang on for the new adventures of Cat. These will now sometimes involve a double stroller, a few more workouts, and probably be a little messier than before (literally; someone spit up on my purse).  I’ll be in flats once in a while, and other times I’ll teeter around in platform sandals, drink in hand, handing off babies to grandparents as my family gathers in for a BBQ. (Yes Mom, I know that made you nervous).  Sometimes we’ll focus on trends, shoes and fashion, and other times I will just vent about the dumb-ass things people say to me when I’m out with my girls (because twins are apparently like a circus sideshow).

We can all start with the closet cleaning project I’m currently working on because none of my shoes fit since I had the babes.  You can buy them, including some I never really got around to wearing, from my closet on Tradesy. I will be buying new ones a half size larger.

Join me on this crazy journey into the next chapter of life. From these platforms the view is pretty nice.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Fighting with Fashion

Gladiator sandals are still in style, and I am back to traveling for work. This means that I get to see all the fashion atrocities that people across the country (or world depending on the airport terminal) commit, including that of gladiator sandals.

I am quickly coming to the conclusion that you should take a styling class before wearing them.

Seriously...WTF?
Last week I sat at Midway Airport in Chicago for an extra two hours while my flight was delayed because of the weather, previously delayed planes, or some kind of star alignment. (You never do know about those things).  In an effort to not think about the fact that I just walked away from my three month old babies for three days, I decided to instead focus on people watching (and talking in one unfortunate case when I got trapped listening to a lady tell me all about her delays and how her adult kids travel).

The conclusion I came to while wandering around the airport (I was looking for a nursery or place to pump, which Midway does not have), was that 1. My boobs were going to start leaking and it’s a good thing I have a sweater to cover that up; and 2. People do not know how to wear gladiator sandals.

Everyone apparently has gladiators this year. It’s the hot sandal for summer. I would think with all of the pictures of the sandals in magazines and online people would figure out how to wear them, but after a day at the airport, I assure you that is not the case.

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram then you saw a picture of the skinny jeans with the gladiator sandals over them. I would explain why this is a bad thing, but I really feel it just speaks for itself. Loudly.

Then there’s gladiator sandals and capri pants. Capri’s are an iffy pant to begin with, and can cut women off at just the wrong spot (especially if you’re short). Adding a sandal that has buckles halfway up the calf until it meets the bottom of the pant only chops your lower half up more. This same rule can be applied to knee high gladiators and shorts that are any length other than ass-cheek. This also means you need great legs to pull this off, and if they’re really, really long, that helps too.

Curvy girls, just walk away from that one unless your sandals have a lift, you are free of jiggle and somehow do it without looking like a stripper.

Gladiator sandals work well with skirts, most shorts (even ones longer than your ass), and are super comfy for the summer. I had a pair with two ankle straps I wore so much the last few years the straps literally fell apart. Still, I can’t help but think they’re not the ideal sandal to wear to the airport in most cases due to that whole taking your shoes off part. Remember, everyone hates the person who holds up the whole line taking their shoes off or because they forgot to take their laptop out of the bag. Don’t be that person.

Or make sure you buy a pair that have a zipper. Then you don’t have to mess with all those buckles.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Totally Imperfect Pitch

For some reason I’m obsessed with peep toe booties, and yet, so picky about the way they look I didn’t own any. Finally I found a pair from Sophia & Lee that I did like.

Black, peep toe with a sling-back (so they don’t look too blocky), lacing and a subtle texture to the shoe. They would look amazing with a pair of cropped cigarette pants, and give a little oomph to a fun summer dress (assuming I ever own such a thing).

They were the first shoes I ordered after I gave birth to the twins and my feet were back to a normal size (although not my previous size). Then it turns out I didn’t leave the house for weeks on end because I had two newborns at home, so they basically sat in my room collecting dust. Then I went back to work.

I love these shoes, but they suck,
The first day I tried them on at work, I was so unstable I actually took them off and wore a different black shoe from my shoe drawer at the office. The heel didn’t look so high I couldn’t walk in it, but that was the problem I was having. But I cut myself a break. Twins did some really, really horrid things to my core muscles. Maybe I just wasn’t ready for that yet.

So I gave it a few weeks (and a bunch of yoga classes), and it was time to revisit the fabulous and perfect booties. Except a second wearing also felt off. After a stroll around the office I came to the conclusion that the problem isn’t me and my still lacking core strength, the problem is the shoe.

A five inch heel and basically no platform created an unwearably steep pitch to the shoe. So much so, than even when standing upright, it felt like I was bending my knees or leaning in some way. All of the weight was straight into the ball of my foot. It’s like I was in dance class again, but the heel was there to try and make me trip.

It was how I imagine Barbie feels all the time with her impossibly pitched feet.

Of course I wore them all day anyway, as if breaking them in will somehow change the construction of the shoe. It didn’t, but at least I can say I tried.