Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Seeing if the Shoes Fit

Yeah, I totally fell off the grid for the last few weeks. But I swear I had a good excuse. I was busy having babies.

Ok, not the whole time, but I went into labor on Tuesday, March 18 and delivered two healthy girls mid-morning by cesarean section. Then there was the subsequent hospital stay, getting home and being totally overwhelmed. Crying jags, hormone issues, sleepless nights... Actually that's all still continuing, and probably will for a while. Luckily we have managed to get some kind of schedule established, and I'm thinking that furiously blogging between feedings is really the way to go right now.

Meet Delilah and Scarlett.
Now that I'm not pregnant for the first time in nine months, it's also time to dig through my closet and find out what happened to my wardrobe. I'm not quite in my own pants just yet (three weeks is a bit ambitious), but I can fit into some of my looser clothes, have lost a lot of the baby weight, and have managed to wear heeled boots once out of the house.

I'm not sure I left the house more than once in the last few weeks. It turns out babies don't have great social lives.

I also need to use one of the upcoming nap times to go through my closet and try on all my shoes. My feet were swollen the whole latter half of my pregnancy, and I have no idea if they got bigger or not, and need to see what fits.

I know my black Steve Madden boots are good, and my gym shoes are fine. Hopefully the rest of my shoe collection also still fits. If not then it looks like there will be a hell of a shoe sale online soon. I'll be sure to keep you all posted in case that happens.

Hopefully when I go back to work in a few weeks I'll have some shoes that fit, along with some real clothes and most of my waist back. And if some of my shoes no longer fit, then I'll just have to start buying more. Hopefully the girls will like shoe shopping.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Bold Lips and Low Expectations

Right now it's all the rage for brands to team up with celebrities for a special line of something. 

Kristin Cavallari has a deal with Chinese Laundry for heels, Madonna brought Material Girl
Nice lips, but she's hardly the first to do a bold lip.
exclusively to Macy's, the new SJP line is only at Nordstrom, and Gwen Stefani unveiled her GX shoes only through ShoeDazzle

No stranger to the celebrity lines, MAC has recently announced the celebrity face of their new partnership for the next round of limited edition cosmetics. And seriously I couldn't be more disappointed. 

Oh, you thought this was going to be positive and about shoes. Sorry. It's about my second favorite love, cosmetics. Especially MAC, to which I am hopelessly devoted. 

This summer MAC releases a line with songstress, and possible one-hit-wonder, Lorde. 

I'll give you a minute to let that soak in. 

The girl who looks like she's wearing drugstore lipstick that doesn't match her skin is getting a cosmetics line. Even better, it was described by one online rag I read as a "goth" collection, because apparently Lorde is so goth. 

That shit "Royals" song could not possibly be less goth, and purple lipstick and a black dress doesn't make you goth. As someone who lived through the '90s, saw and hated the rise of Hot Topic, and still listens to music that some consider to be "goth" I think I can easily identify that she is not goth. 

Usually I love the MAC collaborations. RuPaul for Viva Glam, makeup effects artist and genius Rick
This is what MAC is capable of. Amazing. 
Baker got a Halloween creature collection in 2013, and Heatherette had a fab collection years ago that I still wish I could find again. Hell, even Betty and Veronica from the Archie Comics had a line with MAC. 

Sure,  Lorde wears MAC (so she claims) and MAC senior makeup artist Amber Dreadon is the one who created the Grammy look for the singer with the purple lips that didn't look like shit on her, so they already have a relationship. But by that rational, I should get a MAC line next. I wear their makeup almost exclusively, have some people who may or may not give a mild fuck about the makeup I wear, and wear as much or more makeup than most drag queens. 

Now if only I could go to the Grammys, Oscars, or anything else that would make people give a crap about who I'm wearing and what's on my face, I'd be set. Hey MAC, call me. I can totally fit a collaboration into my schedule. 

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Hello Lover - SJP Shoes Debut at Nordstrom

"Hello lover."

The Diana pump is a must-have. 
It's perhaps my favorite line ever uttered on Sex in the City, and it was to a pair of shoes. It's the line that summed up one woman's obsession with footwear and that runs through my head every time I see that "oh my god, can't live without them" pair of heels. Which is like every time I go shopping.

Now, Sarah Jessica Parker has channeled her inner Carrie Bradshaw and her own love of shoes, and Nordstrom.
released a line of shoes and handbags, appropriately titled SJP. And, while we all knew this was coming, now they're actually available at

Sarah Jessica Parker made a stop at the Nordstrom across the street from my office on Friday, but due to the fact that I'm 36 weeks pregnant with twins, and haven't seen my feet in over a month (plus the swelling, not being able to walk a block, and so on), I had to skip my chance to meet her and the opportunity to try on the shoes.

No point in trying on shoes when my feet are swollen because of
Carrie comes in colors

Instead, I'll wait until I am back to buying shoes again before trying any on. At $300 a pair, they're more affordable than Carrie's beloved Manolo's, but still expensive enough that you're going to want to make sure you can wear them for more than a minute. Plus there's more than just one pair that I am already obsessed with.

For starters, there's the Diana pump, which is part of my endless search for the perfect black pump. With it's pointed toe and diagonal strap detail, it may be the perfect black pump for me.

Also on he "I need it" list is the appropriately titled Carrie t-strap pump, and the Tanny ankle strap pump.

For those of you a little less obsessed with pumps than I am, there are also some amazing espadrilles, strappy sandals (don't get them stolen), sensible but stylish sandals, and a really cool lace up bootie by the name of Alison.

As for the opportunity to meet Sarah Jessica Parker and the opportunity to bond over shoes and twins, I guess that will just have to wait.  Hopefully one day she'll come back and I'll be a little more mobile, definitely less pregnant, and maybe I can even take the twins out to meet a style icon.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Falling, Glitter and Yawns - The 2014 Oscars

The Oscars were Sunday and of course everyone was out in their finest clothes and borrowed jewels.

The rest of us just sat at home in our yoga pants eating ice cream and dreaming about the day that we can wear normal clothes and see our feet again. Or just I did that. 

They all get credit for not showing up in yoga pants.
Seriously, props to Olivia Wilde, Kerry Washington and Elsa Pataky (who is carrying twins) all looked amazing with their bump. I also give Elsa credit for even leaving the house with that bump, let alone looking as amazing as she did (in Ellie Saab). I'm not sure when she is due, but I can only imagine it's soon because we're about the same size. 

Really though, the whole night was not only about the dresses, but the shoes, with slits in dresses, heels were on display, and I must admit that I was surprised to see so many platforms. Maybe it's so they didn't have to get their dresses hemmed. I totally pulled that trick at my wedding, but when I got married three years ago platforms were all the rage. Now I think they're going away and zero platform is more acceptable. 

This is not what Dorothy's shoes looked like.
Then there was also the really awkward moment that Whoopi lifted the hem of her bizarre and ill-fitting dress to reveal a pair of striped tights and red glitter heels for the Judy Garland tribute. I've seen Wizard of Oz more than a couple times and not once do I recall Dorothy wearing six inch platforms that were probably made by Pleaser

Now I have no issue with Pleaser heels or glitter, six inch platforms, or anything of the sort. But when you're trying to pay tribute to a classic film that contains the most iconic shoes in the history of cinema, maybe don't pick them up at Lover's Lane on the way to the awards ceremony. Just because they're glitter doesn't mean they're the magical ruby red slippers, or anything even close. 

Then there's Jennifer Lawrence. She looked very nice, and was her bubbly, America's Sweetheart self, and apparently endeared herself to millions of Americans again when she fell again, apparently tripping on the red carpet. 

Please just be drunk. Then this is funny instead of sad.
I get it, we all fall in our shoes, and shit happens, but seriously. Pull it together and learn to walk in your shoes before leaving the house. Once is cute, the second time you just look like kind of an asshole. If this happens again next year we're going to all think that it's on purpose to make yourself appear cute. Or be drunk. Falling is totally acceptable if you're absolutely loaded, and Jennifer Lawrence may be a little more interesting if she gets drunk and acts like kind of a bitch. 

Am I the only one who doesn't believe she's really that nice? Mostly because I don't believe anyone is that nice. 

The rest of the evening was full of amazing shoes, dresses and jewels, and was probably one of the safest, and most boring Oscars ever. When Whoopi's hooker shoes are the most discussed thing on Twitter, then you know it's a dull night. Maybe next year someone will get drink and tell off the host or throw a heel at the front row. That would be a night worth discussing. 

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Gwen Dazzles with GX at ShoeDazzle

Gwen Stefani spent the last decade going from rock star to style icon and rock star. Plus she married Gavin Rossdale and had a couple of cute kids, including the one she's currently pregnant with.

I'm obsessed with the red boots. 
I'm trying to figure out how we can become friends so we can have playdates with her new baby and my twins. Then we can talk fashion and diapers, and with the new line she has just launched with ShoeDazzle, Gwen sure has a lot going on.

GX is the first collaboration between ShoeDazzle and Gwen Stefani, and features shoes and handbags in black, red, white and cobalt blue. This works out really well for me because those four colors make up 90% of my wardrobe.

The shoes have some great diversity between sleek pumps with small island platforms and single soles, sky high wedge sandals, and some great bootie styles.

When it comes to handbags, there are more square, structured styles, and the same basic but bold colors. They're all pretty freaking amazing.
Punk rock and old Hollywood combined.

The best part about all of these, is that they're actually totally affordable. With heels and handbags under $100 (some even under $50!) this is a great collection to get your hands on. I have already started creating a list of heels and handbags (all of them) that I want as soon as my feet are back to their normal, non-swollen pregnancy size.

Honestly, I hope that Stefani and ShoeDazzle keep working together. I think a Fall/Winter collection would be fabulous. Affordability and style are two of my favorite things.

I just have to hope that they'll all still be available in a month when my feet are back to normal. Then I can start working on booking that play date.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Self Lacing Technology is Coming

Apparently in the 1980s, our present seemed so far away they felt they could wildly speculate about what the future would hold. Now here we are in the Back to the Future II years and totally lacking in hover boards, flying cars and my trash an doesn't talk to me.

Probably a good thing on the talking trash can. 

Now with self lacing technology.
One thing that has been coveted by many all these years are Marty McFly's gym shoes from 2015. A
couple years ago Nike actually made that happen, and sold a 1,500 pairs they made to people with lots of money who were also gym shoe fanatics and Back to the Future fans. One disappointment was that the shoes didn't self lace and you actually had to do it yourself.

Now Nike announced they are fixing that and will have a self lacing shoe out by 2015. 

I have to wonder how long they've been sitting on his patent, hoping they can make it work. 

While I personally don't care about gym shoes all that much, I have to admit that's self lacing technology could be more than a little awesome. 

Sure, it could be because I'm really, really pregnant right now (twins) and gave up on anything with laces due to my inability to reach my feet without making lots of grunting noises, but I also have to think of the other, more practical applications. 

Seriously, these would be so much easier to
put on and off if they laced themselves. 
Think of the possibility of a self lacing knee-high boot. Suddenly you wouldn't need to include the 10 minutes of lacing into your getting ready time, and then sleep in them when you come home too drunk to figure out how to unlace your damn boots.  

Yes, I speak from experience on that one. 

Then you can also apply the self lacing technology to other things. Jackets, corsets, sleeves (I've owned some crazy clothes), really the possibilities are endless. Self lacing could not only be a great thing for gym shoes and complicated boots, but it could change fashion. 

Then again, we would also have to hope that our shoes don't have some kind of malfunction where they lace too tight or won't unlace and we're stuck in them for days. But I'll leave that to the scientists working on the idea in the first place. 

Friday, February 7, 2014

Wearing Your Heart on Your Foot

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and that means that you have to quick run out and buy all the red and pink and heart covered things you can and wear them all at once. Right?

Or not because that's annoying as hell and Valentine's Day isn't really something worth getting uber
Sophia Webster
worked up about unless you're in a new relationship or you consider it a high holiday. Most years I don't celebrate at all, but Husband and I opted to make dinner reservations this year simply because with the babies on the way we're probably never having a meal out again.

I will not be getting a special dress or shoes for the occasion due to my current size, but if you're going to be celebrating, there are some amazing Valentine's inspired options out there that are sure to look amazing and make your honey swoon. If you don't have a honey, then you can still buy some amazing shoes just because you're awesome and every woman deserves shoes.

Sophia Webster has a great pair of heart covered peep toe heels that are sweet not only for a little romance, but any day of the year. You can also get them in a wedge, with a sweet contrasting bow, giving it a little something extra.
Charlotte Olympia

Alice + Olivia also have a great pair of peep toes, available at Saks, in a classic cream with red hearts.

Then of course there is Charlotte Olympia, who makes a shoe for every occasion, including (of course) Valentine's Day. You can get the Delphine, with their island platform and peep toe topped by a heart, or you can get the Love Me heels, which are available in pink, beige or red and are literally made of hearts. The shape, not the organ.

The best part about all these shoes is that after wearing them to celebrate Valentine's Day, they're still wearable any other day of the year as simply a sweet shoe.