Thursday, September 25, 2014

Turning Babies into Goblins



Tuesday was David Bowie Day in Chicago. A new holiday we have bestowed upon the great man in honor of the new exhibit “David Bowie Is” at the Museum of Contemporary Art.  The show is a retrospective of his work in music and in film.

While I wasn’t able to attend the gala that opened the show (because it was $3,000 a ticket), I did manage to find something I have been searching for. Red and white stripe onesies with feet.

Baby goblin in the making.


If I have to explain why this is so exciting to you, then you need to immediately put down the computer and drag your shameful self over to the television and watch Labyrinth on repeat until you
understand why I bought two of them.

My twins have one piece of art hanging in their room and it’s the Labyrinth movie poster. That’s it. No clever quotes about growing up strong or pictures of the family. Hell, I haven’t even managed to get pro shots of the little rugrats taken yet. But there is Bowie. The Goblin King stares at them while they sleep. So of course I did what any loving, doting, vaguely psychotic mother who is obsessed with the Labyrinth and in love with Bowie would do. I bought them onesies that look just like Toby’s.

These kids have about a snowball’s chance in hell of being normal.
He watches over them as they sleep.


Sure, they’re probably actually Christmas onesies, but I’m really hoping to arrange some kind of photo shoot with Jareth and my girls in their Toby outfits. I may even see if I can find a small saddle for the dog, or at least toss him in as a goblin. He’s kind of goblin looking. 

If anyone is up for helping me with this nightmare dream, let me know. 

When I was younger I always thought being the Goblin Queen would be pretty amazing. You get a castle, that crying baby brother would be gone (I would have traded my little sister in a minute for that opportunity), and you get to wear pretty dresses and hang out with Jareth, his amazing hair and codpiece all day. Presumably singing and dancing.

Turns out life isn’t quite that easy, and Labyrinth may not actually be Bowie’s best movie, but there’s something magical about being able to share the thing you loved as a child with your own children. Even if it is just in the form of playing dress-up and they don't quite understand what you're doing to them yet.

Now if only I can find that white ball gown...

******

If you're in the Chicago area I encourage you to check out the exhibit at the MCA. They're also having a David Bowie film fest October 18-19. Or just stay home and Netflix them all.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

How My Shoes Made it to Fashion Week Before Me

"Your boots had a pretty incredible time at NYFW!" 

Fashion Week is kind of a dream among bloggers.  There’s a bunch who go and sit in the shows and give their opinion on the clothes, and ones who stalk around New York hoping to get a pic snapped so they can be on some street style blog.

Yay for all of them. I have a full time career and twins. I have a daily routine that involves not getting spit-up on my work clothes. Apparently Fashion Week and I are not going to meet any time soon.

On the other hand, my shoes have now made it to Fashion Week.

Since going back to work and getting some semblance of a normal body back, I have been cleaning out my closet, much of which can be found on Tradsey (more going up all the time). My friend and hairstylist (and the reason for my Alterna addiction) texted me one day freaking out because she had the opportunity to go and do hair for a couple runway shows for Fashion Week. Of course she jumped at the chance and was desperately trying to get her wardrobe together.

As you can imagine, as a hairstylist shoes are important. Not that the necessarily look good (although that’s a HUGE plus), but that they are comfortable. You can’t be running around for 8+ hours on your feet doing hair in shitty, uncomfortable shoes. She needed shoes. Black shoes to be specific. I have a closetful in just about her size.

I hooked her up with a pair of perfectly broken in Vince Camuto moto boots with studs and buckles. They took her through two fashion shows, an after-party and a couple trips through the airport. She was kind enough to send me pictures of my shoes at Fashion Week.

Nice to know my now too small boots have found a good home. Probably a better home than I gave them. I wore them around the city for a year and to the Christkindle Market, abandoning them when my pregnant belly made it so I couldn’t pull them on anymore. She brought them to Fashion Week.

Enjoy your new home boots. You win. I'm going to start shopping for their replacement right now.


Friday, September 5, 2014

Gilt Loves Glamour and Shoes

A new shoe collaboration has been unleashed, and you better act fast because it's only here for a little bit.

Haydee Oxford
Gilt.com and Glamour magazine teamed up to bring a new capsule collection, Gilt Hearts Glamour.

The 9-piece collection is affordably priced from $79-$129, and has everything from pumps to flats and booties available in a variety of colors and textures.

"We wanted to translate the key fall trends in a way that was both stylish and wearable," said Christina Perez, Glamour's fashion development editor. "We worked with a variety of shapes, materials and colors to ensure there was something chic for everyone-no matter their style personality. That was important to us since so many different types of women read Glamour. We felt the synergies between the Gilt customer and the Glamour reader made
Fabiola platform pump
Gilt and ideal partner for this project."
Gail Snake Embossed pump

Personally I love the snake embossed pump and the calf hair and leather oxford is a fantastic flat. Ultimately though this collection is so great there isn't one shoe that wouldn't be a great addition to anyones collection.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Coupons and Self Control

As soon as something is discounted I buy it. Seriously. If you ever want me to buy something then send me a gift certificate or coupon for some amount of money off that is a multiple of $5.

The best month for this for everyone, is of course birthday month. Well, August just happens to be
Duckie's creepers. I need to find these.
mine, and while I am a year older (and a hell of a year that was) I have not gained any self-control when it comes to the topic of spending money because I get to save money. Just ask Ulta about the damage I did last night because I was promised discounts and a free birthday mascara (which they were out of).

DSW is one of the many places that sends me a gift certificate for my birthday, knowing they’ll lure me in with $5 or $10 off. So of course I packed up the twins and went shoe shopping.

One thing that you all need to know about me shoe shopping (as if you don’t already know) is that logic and wearability has very little to do with why I buy shoes. Instead I buy shoes like animals hunt. Totally on instinct and without logic or forethought. So as I wandered around I was not considering what kind of shoes I should be getting. Especially with the new shoe size the twins gave me, you would think I would have some kind of plan.

Nope. I just buy whatever all willy nilly, which explains why I have a pair of red pumps, black and white heels, and black, laser cut peep toes.  So of course this trip involved buying a pair of shoes simply because the reminded me of the shoes Duckie wears in Pretty in Pink.

By the way, they’re nothing like the creepers Duckie wore (which are seriously awesome).
Nothing like creepers, but I kind of love them.

These are black…shoes. Seriously, I don’t know what they are. They are open but aren’t sandals, they have an ankle strap with buckles, they don’t have a heel… They’re not creepers and they’re not heels. But they’re also flat enough I can wear them out with the twins. (You try carrying 2 carries or babies in heels). 

Once I got them home I also figured out that they would look awesome with harem pants. Unfortunately, I would not look awesome in harem pants (does anyone?) and was at a loss of what to wear them with. Finally I threw them on with a black cotton skirt, graphic t-shirt and giant sunglasses and called it my new summer uniform.

All because DSW knows just how to get me. Speaking of which, I just got another $5 emailed to me. Guess where I'm going this weekend.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Catching Up on Louboutin



Deadly perfection
I need to start using my iPad more. I bet I can nurse babies and type on my iPad. (You’re welcome for that disturbing visual). I also need to not be sick, which I’m not anymore, so that’s a good start. And if both babies would sleep through the night, then I’d totally have it together and write on a way more regular basis. I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in over 5 months.

Now that I’m done with my excuses, let’s talk Louboutin.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock you know that the shoe genius released a line of nail polish, priced at the pretty penny of $50 a bottle. Despite being the most expensive nail lacquer I know of, it is also sold out everywhere.

I attribute this to a few factors:
  1. The bottle is totally bad ass and made of crystal
  2. The bottle top can double as a weapon. You can stab someone and then finish your manicure. It’s like James Bond toys for women.
  3. Everyone wants to own something Louboutin and $50 is just the price point where we can all do it.
The eight inch tall, bottle with its spire top is inspired by the sky-high, literally unwearable stilettos

The other thing Louboutin has done is release the shoes Angelina Jolie wore to the Maleficent premier (on a limited basis of course). The pointed toe hollow wedge heel was designed to look like tendrils of smoke and were designed by Christian Louboutin and Ms. Jolie. They’re called Malangeli, and personally my favorite ones were the white ones with the blood on them that she wore to the London premier.

If you want one of the 96 pairs being released, then you’re going to have to drop $1,495, but most of the profit goes to benefit SOS Children's Village, an organization close to Jolie's heart that helps orphaned and abandoned children.

Fab shoes and great nails are apparently only for those who move fast and have some money. Oh Louboutin, I love you.

I want them.
Louboutin created for a 2007 photo exhibit. The line's signature color is the trademark-protected, rich red of the designer's signature soles. Of course other colors are coming too, but they’re all limited, so be sure to move fast because these are flying off the shelves.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

No One Notices My Shoes Anymore

I’ve decided the best way to live life post-baby is to simply pack the little droolers up (seriously, so much drool) and do the things I used to do. Except go to bars. Babies aren’t welcome in bars.
Granted, packing them up is like an hour ordeal, which includes figuring out which of the three strollers to take (none of which are ideal), making sure there’s at least one extra outfit per baby, bottles, maybe a breastpump (and accessories), diapers, wipes, baby sling (because sometimes they hate the stroller), and I’m sure there’s other random crap I pack without even thinking of it.

Nightmare heels by Iron Fist
This weekend Husband and I packed up the girls and their little ruffle-butts and drove off to Flashback Weekend, a local horror movie convention. Because babies should totally be at horror conventions. It also gave me a chance to wear my Freddy Krueger shoes again, this time with the chance that Robert Englund would see them, because he was there somewhere.

For the record, no I didn’t see him, and he didn’t see my shoes. But there were plenty of people I did get to meet and talk to, and none of them noticed my shoes because I was with the twins. When I’m with them I could not have a head and no one would notice because there’s twins.

I did meet and get a picture with Lance Henriksen, which is a life highlight for me. He was very sweet, signed a picture of Bishop for Husband and I, and took a picture with us. He also spent some time talking to the girls who were lying back in their stroller, hanging out, having no idea that a living film legend was touching their feet.

Husband says their feet are never getting washed again. I’m pretty sure by the end of the day they had already spit-up on their feet.

We also couldn’t leave without getting a picture of the twins with the Soska Sisters. Writers and directors of American Mary (if you haven’t seen it go watch it now) and owners of Twisted Twins Productions the identical twins, Jen and Sylvia, are creating quite a buzz in the film community. They are also two of the sweetest girls in the world, and were thrilled to take pictures of the twins, including risking getting spit-up on to hold them.

Seriously, how cute is this?
One day the twins may think I’m cool because I was getting their picture taken with horror directors when they were just infants. Plus I think it’s a good lesson if they ever decide to go into business together. Becoming the next generation of Doublemint Twins is not the only career option. Plus they’re fraternal, so that would never work (and we’re more of a Grady Twins family). Maybe their early meeting with the Soska Sisters will rub off on them and they’ll start a company together doing something they love. 

So no one noticed my shoes all day. I pushed the stroller in my Nightmare platforms for nothing because I was preceded by ruffle-butt babies who did their best to charm everyone (Traci Lords thought they were adorable).  At least I had a good profile. I also know that next year it doesn’t matter what I wear because no one pays attention to me when the twins are in tow.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

If the Shoe Doesn't Fit

When I got pregnant everyone kept telling me how it was going to change my feet. How my feet would get bigger, or flatter, or both.

Once in a while a little ray of light would come through and some woman would tell me that her feet didn’t change at all. Everything was the same as it always was and all her shoes fit even better than before she was pregnant. (Yeah, I made that last bit up).

My new shoes need to be even bigger.
I’ve decided the women who didn’t have any foot changes are either lying or were those horrid people who gain like 10 pounds and have that perfect, round, little bump that looks like the fake belly women wear in maternity catalogs.

Being pregnant with twins I gained almost 50 pounds, my feet swelled, and my bump was more of a giant belly mound that expanded forward, up, down and sideways, threatening to crush me at every turn. Luckily, as soon as I gave birth I lost all but 5 pounds (muscle mass is a different story), my feet slowly stopped being all swollen, and my stomach went back to some semblance of normal. Unfortunately, my feet are also bigger.

How much bigger remains some kind of mystery. I have gone up a half to a whole size at times, yet still have shoes in my own closet that fit. Others have turned into some kind of cruel joke.

Last week I got two pair of shoes I ordered, including this amazing red, black and white pair from Gwen Stefani’s gx line. I went up half a size from my pre-pregnancy size since I has been wearing my old shoes all week.

Well, it must have been some kind of joke. There I was in the living room trying to jam my
I couldn't even jam my giant feet past the black strap.
previously size 7 foot into these heels, looking like I’m reenacting the role of Cinderella’s evil step-sister. My husband sat by staring, probably afraid to ask anything as I was cussing and getting that lip tremble that says I may start crying because I still randomly cry at things vaguely related to babies or my pregnancy. Finally he timidly says, “Maybe they run small.”

Good husband. Thank you for not pointing out my previously creepy, small feet are now vaguely human size, which is great for things like walking, but renders thousands of dollars of shoes that we had a whole closet built for totally useless.

Now I’m sending my giant box of shoes back in hopes a half size up fits. If not, then I will blame the shoes for being a bad cut and move on with my life after a good cry. With all the other changes that have been going on and the new life I’m adapting to, going up more than a whole shoe size is simply unacceptable.