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Showing posts from January, 2011

I'm afraid of Americans

Oh wait. I am American.

You'll immediately know us in other countries because we're the one in awkwardly large gym shoes, usually white and fluorescent colored, and we pair them with shorts (any color) and a t-shirt emblazoned with the name of the last place we've been.

At least that was my experience on my amazing cruise through the Gulf of Mexico and western Carribbean. In Belize, you can spot the American because he's the one with the Washington DC shirt. And then there's the lady wearing the brand new shirt she bought in Costa Maya. It's orange. How subtle.

Yes, people dress obnxious, but it was the "logical" and "comfortable" footwear that never failed to appall me. You'd think flip flops or sandals would be OK for the beach, but apparently Crocs are the new tropical footwear. And please don't forget your socks with any of the afore mentioned shoes.

No, I didn't wear heels while hiking through the rain forest jungles of Hond…

I'm back

Sorry for the hiatus. I was on vacation. My first real vacation in years, and an amazing one at that.

Predictably I am now also eyeballs deep in work that has piled up while I was gone. If you miss me (and I know you all do), follow me on Facebook or Twitter, which I have been updating because they both take less time than a real blog post, which I promise to do soon. You know I can't go all the way to South America and back without having something shitty to say about people's footwear.

In the meantime, I leave you with my newest obsession. Camouflage heels. I don't have any and am pretty sure I need some. Pretty sure it was inspired by my hike through the rain forest jungles of Honduras.

Picking and packing

A few years ago I used to occasionally travel for business, and I'd be gone for a week or more at a time. Every day I was expected to wear a suit and look my best, then run my high-heeled butt off all over a hotel for 20 hours a day.

On one trip somewhere (I don't even remember where) I checked my bags and the baggage handler kindly informed me that one of my bags was 2 pounds over the over 50 pound limit. "Why don't you take a pair of shoes out of there and put it in your other bag?" he helpfully suggested.

"Because the other bag is all my shoes," I said, starting to stress.

He stifled a laugh, said "Never mind," and shuffled me through the line, allowing the additional two pounds.


Now I find myself again packing for a long trip (although this is an actual vacation) and I'm stressing again about shoes, outfits, and how many pounds my bag is going to weigh.

Do I bring a different shoe for each outfit, or pick a minimum number of shoes a…

Drunks and lucky charms

On New Year's Eve I wore out my new Christmas present. Black, red and white leather peep toe platforms with a horseshoe cutout and a wide wooden heel by T.U.K.

To make them extra special they have a little horseshoe charms on the inside of the heel. A tiny, dangly little charm that no one sees.

Unless of course you get drunk and try to show the charm to everyone who says they like your shoes. Which is everyone. Because they're amazing.

So New Year's I boycotted the sequins that everyone else would have on and actually dressed pretty normally in a pair of black pants, black vest and red button down, with all the focus on my shoes.

The advantage of the chunky heel was added stability. The horseshoe cutout was a little uncomfortable at first, but then the shoes were broken in, or I drank more. I honestly don't remember which it was.

Unfortunately all the stability in the world couldn't help me later in the night when I was standing outside in a small alcove of the bui…