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Showing posts from July, 2011

Model sparkles and drag walking

For once I was not the one in the room in the tallest, most ostentatious shoes. This weekend's fashion show for the the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) brought out the tallest and sparkliest shoes in the city, as well as lots of behind the scenes drama, which is probably normal for events like this.

Designers under pressure were freaking out when models flaked out and didn't show, cancelled last minute, or designs weren't fitting correctly. Models backed up in lines waiting for hair and makeup, blown fuses from too many blow dryers and broken air conditioning.

The broken air was of course made worse by the fact that a hundred people were in one staging area and there were a million blow dryers and curling irons going at full speed. The heat was further exasperated by the fact that I was modeling a sweater and had to wear pantyhose.

Once the show got rolling though it was smooth sailing from the models point of view and any problems that may have existed were taken care of quick…

Cat on a runway

Every so often I do something nice.

Actually I do lots of nice things, but sometimes it involves volunteering my time and being part of something really cool. So when offered the chance to walk as a model this Friday at Threads of Equality, a FashionEsque Show benefiting the Human Rights Campaign at Spin Nightclub, I jumped at it.

I'm not a runway model by any stretch of the imagination, my first problem being that I am an underwhelming 5'4" without heels on, and the other problem being that I do not have the figure of a runway model.  But for those wonderful people who don't care that I'm not a size zero and eight feet tall, I'm totally willing to be part of something fun.

Local designers and Chicago boutiques will be featured on the runway, and there will be dance and burlesque performances by some amazing local performers. I'll be walking the runway in sweaters by Emily Rohrer, which I am totally excited to see.

As for shoes, I actually get to bring m…

Walking through pain

The most common question I get about my shoes is, "How do you wear those?"

It's not a question about one pair of shoes, but every pair of shoes. I got that question at my wedding, at work, walking through the mall, at family parties and street festivals. Even the shoes I think are totally conservative and comfortable are apparently someone else's version of a high heeled Hell.

Maybe it's because I have tiny little toes that easily smash into small spaces. Or because my feet and legs are so used to being inches higher than Mother Nature made them. Maybe I'm just a masochist.

Anything's possible.


Platform shoes are the best. They give you extra height and hurt less because the platform makes the shoe look higher, and in reality the platform lessens the angle of your foot, allowing for higher heels and a longer leg.

I do have a limit though. If I'm going to be standing for hours, or if the shoes don't have a platform, I am a firm believer of inserts.

Beer on gold

This weekend I took my boozing out of the house and went to a bar to celebrate a friend's birthday. I dressed up, donning black and gold stripe heels and an Armani tank with sequin straps.

I swear no one who was in the bar that night owns a mirror. There was also a memo that went to half the bar that stated that you no longer have to dress up when you go out and summer is a totally OK time to wear flip flops to the bar and dress like a hobo. And not like cute, "I don't care" totally, casual kind of hobo. More like the "I've been sleeping in this for days, and I kinda stink" hobo.

The other half of the bar tried to dress up and failed. A note to the girl in the in the polka dot dress: Polka dots are not slimming, and don't wear Iron Fist wedges with eyes on them just because the eyes are circles. That doesn't mean they match your dress. Although they are cute shoes.

Apparently the total lack of fashion in that place was noticed because my shoes go…

Accessorizing feet

Accessories are a cruicial part of a woman's life. Or at least they are in my life. I love a good necklace or pair of earrings as much as the next person. Once you're done adorning lobes, fingers and toes, there's still the shoes.

Shoe accessories seem to have been popping up more and more. From the uniquely named, and brilliant Heel Condoms that transform a pair of shoes, to your basic Foot Petals, each pair of shoes heels can be modified and trussed up from the inside out. Online boutique Erica Giulani offers such a wide range of beautiful, high-end accessories you can practically double the shoes in your closet with everything from bow and chains to fur covers and straps.

Then there's the other weird crap that people try to pass off as acessories. The Heel Protector (creatively named) "stop tears, nicks and scuffs to your favorite high heels caused from sidewalk cracks, car mats, cobblestones, lawns and much more."

The downside to all this is that they l…

Guarding my shoes

There have been better weekends than the past one I just had.

It started out well enough. Food, festivals, a bunch of crap to do, and poof, it would probably be over before it really started. That's generally how weekends go.

By Saturday afternoon it was rolling along at warp speed, just as predicted, when it came to a screeching halt as I walked in the door in the middle of the afternoon to find my entertainment center torn apart, cords all over the place, wood littering the floor in front of the door where the frame splintered, and more missing electronics.

As I surveyed the damage, ushered people out of the house, and all I could think of was my dog Thor, who was home through the whole thing.

Apparently a chihuahua isn't a good deterrent to thieves, even if he is a freakishly tall 11 pound dog who loves shoes.

Luckily (is it lucky?) there really wasn't a lot taken. It was a small hit that went after electronics. Aside from the splintered door and missing stuff, we were l…

Price is relative

The Internet has been all abuzz for the last few days over someone in Missouri who bought $10,000 worth of Christian Louboutin shoes off their website.

I'm not sure if this is news because it was the largest purchase on the site in it's one year existence or if it's because someone spent $10,000 on shoes. In fact, I'm not really sure why it's news at all.

Louboutin's range in price from $600 to over $1,500, so that's only like 7 to 9 pairs of shoes if you're buying the higher priced stuff on the site. That's also assuming it was all shoes and this woman didn't purchase a handbag or any men's shoes, both of which can also run well into the $1,000+ range.

Really I'm just jealous of the fact that she had $10K to spend on shoes and handbags. Or anything for that matter. I could spend 10 grand pretty quickly if given the opportunity. A dining room table, shoes, clothes, handbags. Who can't spend $10,000 on frivolous bullshit if allowed the…

Cork it up

This season I became a little obsessed with cork shoes after seeing Sam Edelman and Stuart Weitzman both made heels that were all cork. 
Not ready to take the plunge for an all cork shoe, and needing a pair of sandals, I decided instead to go for a more “practical” and budget friendly pair of sandals from Wild Pair by Bakers Shoes. Black patent criss-cross straps with a cork split wedge heel. 
I should have just spent the $200 at Nordstrom and bought the Sam Edelman peep toes with the towering platform because these shoes suck. 
Since they were on final sale I couldn’t return them when I discovered that they were too small in that really special way that doesn’t involve the shoe bed, but instead is correlated to the space between the straps and the bed. You know. The shoes that make you feel like you have fat feet. 
So I jam my fat little foot into the sandal and think, “Fuck it. They were on sale and they’ll stretch,” and go on my merry way. 
But they didn’t stretch. Instead they…