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Showing posts from March, 2012

Vending Shoes

Vending machines are generally bad ideas. Nothing good can come out of them. They’re full of fattening, sugary snacks that go right to your ass, coffee that tastes like pissed on dirt, cigarettes, and shoes.  
Yep. Shoes. 
What the hell kind of shoes come out of a vending machine? Canned flats.  Canned. Like fruit or vegetables. As in grocery. They’re described as “ballet flats” and are sold for $19.95/pair...in a can.  The machines are made by British company Rollasole and have been brought to the U.S. by Ashley Ross and Lindsay Klimitz. Props to the ladies for their entrepreneurial spirit, but dear god, we couldn’t have just left this on the other side of the ocean? 
So when you’re out clubbing in LA or Las Vegas and your feet are screaming you can slip a $20 into a vending machine and get some slipper-looking canned flats. 
Of course this doesn’t solve the problem of what to do with the heels you’ve just abandoned, what if the flats don’t match your outfit or if you suddenly resemble an…

Rodarte Unveils Fall/Winter Perfection

Rodarte has unveiled their new shoes, made in house for Fall 2012/Winter 2013, and they're amazing.

I love anything with insane collars, feathers, metal, mesh  or other bizarre fabrics, textures or shapes, so of course I love most of their collection. Black Swan made me want to shun my bad knee and tape my breasts down so I could pretend to be a ballerina and wear their tutus. Not to mention the headdresses. (The makeup I can do myself). 
I'm such a sucker for looking like a total maniac. 
Now there's the upcoming season's shoes. Dear God they're beautiful. Chunky heels, Mary Jane shapes, ankle ties, mock boots and puffy Joan Jetson-esque strips. Some even have metal detailing on the heels. None of the shoes have feathers, but they aren't really practical for Fall and Winter anyway. 
I literally started salivating when I saw all these shoes.
This Fall ready-to-wear shoe collection makes me want to hunt down these heels and charge up my credit cards until they b…

Kids, Crap and Flats: Tips for Surviving Summer (without looking like a muppet)

I'm totally overdue on an answer to someone looking for shoe advice. If it wasn't for that damn day job and all the daily life tasks I'd have more time for important things like answering shoe questions.

Fellow blogger and fashion conscious mom, Jenna, (author of High Gloss and Sauce) called for shoe help.

"I need something to wear to the beach. Not just any beach, but a long stretch of dirty sand at the city beach plowed with my double stroller and 80 lbs of children/bags/etc. 'Cute' is like the third priority, but clinging to the list."

After I read the question a few times and realized that it's not 80 lbs of children's crap, it's 80 lbs including kids, and decided to say something other than to find a less dirty beach, or how can two kids require so much stuff; I instead decided to appreciate the fact that cute is still clinging on (albeit by a thread).

Let's make something clear. There is no rule, written or unwritten that says as soo…

RIP Red Heels

Years ago I bought what instantly became my favorites shoes. Red, round toe sling backs with red and black piping by Nine West.

They were the perfect combination of trendy and classic. Something simple with a '60s flair that went with everything. I wore them more than I ever thought I would wear red shoes.

It turns out when your entire wardrobe is black and white, red shoes go with everything.

Then this week they died.

I slipped them off at the end of the day, looked down, and realized that they were really done. Little red flecks from the inside leather inside of the shoes had peeled off and were all over my feet. Plus the white piping along the side of the shoe was cracking and peeling, the red heels had become discolored from being subjected to water, snow and whatever other stupidity I had subjected the heels to over the years.

All this simply adds up to their ultimate demise.

I really am way more upset about this whole thing than I should be. I've been watching these shoe…

Night Clubbing

Dance clubs are great places to people watch. You can see all kinds of degenerate behavior, rhythmless people, failed pickups, and of course, all the crazy clothes.

Also prevalent this weekend: flats.

I apparently missed when it became OK to wear flats out to clubs and bars. I mean, girls always dressed like idiots and maniacs (myself included), but it somehow looks less stupid when paired with a nice pair of heels.

Everywhere I turned they were there. Flats. ballet pumps, peep toes, garish bows, and plain old boring flats that weren't even worth noticing. The worst was when they were paired with mini skirts. I wish I had my camera to document some of these atrocities. Maybe I could have done some people a favor by posting photos of their hideous wardrobe mistakes.

A tip to the girl in the sequin mini; next time don't pair it with a t-shirt (pretty sure there was a unicorn or panda or some such shit on it), open toe flats, and remember that a hairstyle (or a hairbrush for that…

Stepping Out in Green

Saint Patrick’s Day always calls for people to make themselves as green as possible. Literally. Hair, face paint, eyes, lips, clothes and of course shoes. In Chicago we even take it a few steps further and make the beer and the river green(er). 
I’m not Irish at all, so I don’t usually take part in all this greenness. Once I went to the South Side Irish parade and my dark hair, lack of green and North side “look” stuck out like a sore thumb in the middle of all those pale, Irish redheads clad in head to toe green. 
Luckily everyone was also really drunk, so I’m pretty sure no one cared. 
Now with the greenest of all holidays just around the corner again, I feel like I should at least make some sad attempt at giving a crap about it, and drag out something green. After all, my husband and brother-in-law are both part Irish, so at least it’s somewhere in the family. 
Plus St. Patrick’s Day gives the opportunity to buy new, green shoes. 
If you’ve never wanted green shoes, let me assure you th…

Wedging into Summer

I recently went shopping with my sister, hunting for a pair of black wedge sandals. The kind of fabulous basic sandal that will get you through all summer.

I have a couple pairs of black sandals, all split wedges, peep toe, strappy and in both cases fabulous. They're the perfect shoe to go with a pair of capris, shorts or sundresses, and can be dressed up or down.

After a failed attempt to find the perfect sandals at a couple different places, I promised to look for her and find a couple different options.

DSW has a ton of options available, one of the best being the Mix No. 6 Erin Wedge Sandal. The wooden platform gives a great contrast to the black leather, and the woven detailing across the top of the foot it a nice detail.

Fergie Footwear has a great pair of black wedge sandals too (and they're on sale), these with an ankle strap, which is one of my favorite styles out this spring. The Queenie Too sandal gives more of a peep toe look than a traditional sandal, which makes i…

Blocking Out Heels

I'm really into this whole color blocking trend going on right now. In reality it's simply the absence of patterns and wearing more than one color at a time, so it's basically how I've always dressed because my wardrobe is totally void of patterns.

When it comes to shoes though, color blocking gives a new aesthetic that wasn't so prevalent before. This season it's easy to find shoes of every color with contrasting platforms, heels and toes.

I finally broke down a got a pair, and in pearl clutching surprise, they are not sky-high heels in obnoxious colors. Instead I went classic and subdued with a pair of beige, tan and black leather, round toe color block heels from Banana Republic.

I saw them when they first hit the store a couple months ago, and had somehow (and for some unknown reason) resisted buying them until this weekend. Finally I gave in, realizing that not only are they some kind of retro-inspired amazing, but they'll also go with damn near anythi…

Celebrity Shoes

I decided I should have my own shoe line. I mean why not? I like shoes, probably know more about them than a lot of women, have some great design ideas...all good things if you're going to start a shoe line.

Oh, then there's also the fact the apparently now anyone can design shoes.

Halle Berry has joined the long (and ever growing) list of celebs who has a shoe line. She will be "designing" 40 pairs of limited edition shoes for Deichmann, which will launch next month in the UK. Many others preceded her, some with their own brand, including Carlos Santana (love the shoes but does that even make sense?), Fergie (she actually wears her own line), Madonna (will never wear her own line), Jessica Simpson (better at fashion than singing), Cindy Crawford (also designed for Deichmann), Kanye West (I wish I was kidding), Gwen Stefani (we all love L.A.M.B.) and a bunch of celebs who designed shoes for Stewart Weitzman.

This isn't even including the partnerships shoe clubs li…

Obtaining Obsessions

Sunday early afternoon I was sitting back with a cup of coffee after yoga and breakfast, and checking Facebook on my phone. It's the usual threads of what people had for breakfast, pictures of their kids and weekends, and shoes.

Shoes fill my feed. Between every image of a smiling child and drunken smiles were pictures of shoes. From the affordable to the unaffordable they were all staring at me until something really caught my eye. Charles David shoes at 50% off.

I clicked the link and browsed through the teeny tiny pictures of Charles David fabulousness on my phone, then I moved onto page 2, and there they were, staring at me. Charles by Charles David black phony hair heels with tie tassels across the top of the foot, trimmed in black patent leather. Perfection. The ones I first saw at Fashion's Night Out, saw again in Miami on a business trip (but they were out of my size) and that I couldn't find on the Charles David website. And there they were, and there were only th…

Spring Flowers

I don’t do pastels and I don’t do floral prints. These two things are going to make Spring fashions kind of difficult for me this year.

It’s not because they don’t look good on me. With pale skin and dark hair, pastels actually aren’t bad on me. Floral prints probably also look fine, but I can’t get over the fact that even the most clothing-looking floral pattern reminds me of wallpaper.

Gives a whole new mental image to the term “wallflower.”

Instead I’ll go with the bright colors for spring, of course paired with my black basics, button downs and pencil skirts (because in my wardrobe it is the early 1960s), and continue to toss on shoes that act as the statement piece that makes my look defy any era.

Today I spent lunch looking through catalogs and browsing online, and I noticed that there are a lot of floral print shoes for Spring as well.

I guess they kind of look like wallpaper too, but somehow it’s vaguely more acceptable when it’s on your feet. As if you accidentally got tripp…