Friday, May 29, 2015

Silver Nerve Damage

DSW is seriously the best. I've said it before, and I stand by it. They have a customer for life here. Plus I have all those rewards, so there’s that.

They looked great, but hurt like hell. 
Let week my procrastinating self decided that silver shoes were needed to complete my outfit for a wedding I was attending. After scouring the internet, I found a great pair of Betsey Johnson silver heels with a rhinestone embellishment. Seriously amazing looking shoes (named Gia if you're looking for it). Despite the cost of said shoe, I didn't qualify for free shipping because I’m not a platinum member (on account of being all pregnant for like a year), so I had to pay upgraded shipping so the shoes showed up in time (hopefully), and then of course I bitched about it because it turned my $80 shoes into $100 shoes.

I should have really just worn what I have, but whatever.

DSW jumped on Titter, responded to my bitching, and upgraded my shipping for free. Yep. Awesome. So much awesome.

Friday night the shoes were waiting for me when I got home so I was able to give them a test run around the kitchen prior to the rehearsal (husband was standing up). The looked amazing. The (almost) perfect shoe.

The night of the wedding, I got dressed, freshened up my makeup in like 8 seconds because I was going to miss the last shuttle from the hotel to the reception, and walked like Peg Bundy in my Pinup Girl Couture Erin wiggle dress and 4 1/2 inch silver heels.
Totally happened.
I took them off. 

I’m pretty sure the only way I could have possibly walked slower that night would be if I just sat down and stopped moving entirely. But it looked good, and there’s a price we all pay for fashion. right?

Pretty sure my price that evening was nerve damage. I love you Betsey, but please, for the love of god put some kind of platform in shoes with heels over 4 inches. Aside from the fact that it will help with speed (which wouldn't have mattered anyway because of the dress), when you spend hours on your feet dancing, talking and dancing with a pitch that high it takes a toll.

Of course once we got the to after party (yep, there was a wedding after party) someone immediately broke a glass, making it impossible to even slide my shoes off under the table for fear of cutting open my foot and causing actual nerve damage (as opposed to the theoretical damage I was convinced I had).

The next morning my feet were still sore and they were so swollen from their evening of abuse that I could only fit them in loafers. The silver heels went home, safely tucked away in their box where they will stay for a while. Mostly because there aren't too many occasions to wear 4 1/2 inch silver heels with rhinestone baubled toes, but also because of the pain they caused me. Who knows, maybe in 17 years they’ll be considered retro and one of my girls can wear them to prom. I bet they’ll hurt less on younger feet.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Tiny shoes, big cost

I’m not sure exactly what happened recently, but I’m pretty sure my life has been sucked into a black hole. The girls started walking, I got a new job, started the new job, bought the girls shoes, went to work, came home, did some stuff, tried to be a good wife and mom, worked some more.

That doesn't leave much time for anything else, but I renew my promise (again) to try and be better about writing and posting. For real.

I’ll write on my phone while chasing the girls in two different directions. One wants to play with the dog toy (which really pisses him off) and the other wants to play on the stairs. Always the stairs. What the hell kids?

It was like watching a dog with boots on.
She was pissed.
I’m going to start putting their shoes on them inside because the shoes actually slow them down. Neither one really knows what to do right away, so they just stand there like tiny little statues. Eventually they figure out how to walk again and we’re off to the same old mischief, but those couple minutes of rest were nice.

I think there should also be something made so I can tether them together. They make little leashes for kids, why not something so they can’t separate. When there’s only one of me and two of them, they seem insistent on going in different directions. Stairs and the dog dish, coffee table, stairs and trying to play with the dog.

Seriously, the dog is not a huge fan. He’s good to them, but is easily annoyed and they love him so much it brings to mind Elmira from Looney Tunes.

So cute. Too bad they only fit for a minute.  
The funny thing about them walking now though is how little they wear those new shoes we spent an obscene amount of money on. I mean, you have to get the good shoes to help with their little developing feet. And there’s two of them, so I get to buy two nice pairs of shoes. And as I’m checking out the sales lady looks at me and says, “These should fit for about three months, so be sure to come back a little before that.”

Three months? FML. So far we’re almost a month into ownership and they've worn them twice because they go everywhere in a stroller since they still suck at walking and have zero concept of self-preservation. Luckily, I get a 10% twin discount, which I guess is something, even if it is only a few dollars every three months.

Still people keep asking how it is that my girls only have one pair of shoes each when I have so many pairs of shoes. It’s because my shoes will fit for longer than three months and I actually walk in mine. I promise when they start walking for real they can have more than one pair of shoes.

I guess we better start taking more trips to the park, get some use out of those little shoes.