Cat in Heels

I was never this cool. Neon really tears me apart. It brings mental images of braces, tall fried-out bangs, Aqua Net and my awkward phase. Neon is my reminder of that time in life they make crappy tween shows about, except I was WAY less glamorous. At the same time, neon is Jem , The Misfits (Jem's rival not the real punk band) and Barbie and the Rockers , Cyndi Lauper and everything that was (and probably still is) so much cooler than me.  So far I have avoided the neon revival, fearing that the second I place a piece on my body the gap in my teeth will magically appear, my bathroom will fill with Paul Mitchell and Aqua Net products, my hair will no longer be awesome, and my tits will get smaller. They come in multiple colors The other side of me wants to embrace it and add the neon pieces to my wardrobe, and live out some kind of Barbie and the Rockers fantasy where I look great in everything no matter how asinine it may be, all my friends are equal...

A few weeks ago I was asked by a friend when the appropriate time in life to stop wearing Velcro shoes is. I'm pretty sure the correct answer is, "When you were five." Do they even make Velcro shoes for people who have gone through puberty? Well, apparently they do, and there she was, face to face with a Velcro shoe wearing, suit clad adult on the Orange Line. I missed the wonder that was Velcro. As a child of the 1980s one automatically assumes that I had Velcro shoes. Those wonderful shoes that go on and off with such ease. No stopping to bother with tying laces that would come undone. No broken laces or being tripped over because you knelt down to tie your shoe in the middle of a kickball game. No untied laces that are soaked from being dragged through puddles because you didn't want to stop and tie them (probably because of that asshole kid who can't see where he's going and trips over you). These shoes are for children...and idiots. Then again,...