Thursday, July 24, 2014

If the Shoe Doesn't Fit

When I got pregnant everyone kept telling me how it was going to change my feet. How my feet would get bigger, or flatter, or both.

Once in a while a little ray of light would come through and some woman would tell me that her feet didn’t change at all. Everything was the same as it always was and all her shoes fit even better than before she was pregnant. (Yeah, I made that last bit up).

My new shoes need to be even bigger.
I’ve decided the women who didn’t have any foot changes are either lying or were those horrid people who gain like 10 pounds and have that perfect, round, little bump that looks like the fake belly women wear in maternity catalogs.

Being pregnant with twins I gained almost 50 pounds, my feet swelled, and my bump was more of a giant belly mound that expanded forward, up, down and sideways, threatening to crush me at every turn. Luckily, as soon as I gave birth I lost all but 5 pounds (muscle mass is a different story), my feet slowly stopped being all swollen, and my stomach went back to some semblance of normal. Unfortunately, my feet are also bigger.

How much bigger remains some kind of mystery. I have gone up a half to a whole size at times, yet still have shoes in my own closet that fit. Others have turned into some kind of cruel joke.

Last week I got two pair of shoes I ordered, including this amazing red, black and white pair from Gwen Stefani’s gx line. I went up half a size from my pre-pregnancy size since I has been wearing my old shoes all week.

Well, it must have been some kind of joke. There I was in the living room trying to jam my
I couldn't even jam my giant feet past the black strap.
previously size 7 foot into these heels, looking like I’m reenacting the role of Cinderella’s evil step-sister. My husband sat by staring, probably afraid to ask anything as I was cussing and getting that lip tremble that says I may start crying because I still randomly cry at things vaguely related to babies or my pregnancy. Finally he timidly says, “Maybe they run small.”

Good husband. Thank you for not pointing out my previously creepy, small feet are now vaguely human size, which is great for things like walking, but renders thousands of dollars of shoes that we had a whole closet built for totally useless.

Now I’m sending my giant box of shoes back in hopes a half size up fits. If not, then I will blame the shoes for being a bad cut and move on with my life after a good cry. With all the other changes that have been going on and the new life I’m adapting to, going up more than a whole shoe size is simply unacceptable.

No comments: