Monday, April 4, 2016

Balance it All

Every month I say I’m going to write, and then every month goes by with me writing less and less. I am still active on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram if you follow me there, which I hope you do because if this is how you get your Cat in Heels updates, then you’re woefully behind.

So what’s been happening? The twins turned two, I still work a lot, I haven’t been shopping and have bought zero new shoes for me (the twins on the other hand…) and I continue to stress about every little thing because I’m a generally anxious individual and a mom, which makes you more anxious, so really if there was an Olympic sport for anxiety, I would totally be a contender.

In all this working and moming and being a wife, there’s not a lot of time left for me. This weekend I sat with a friend as my twins and her two children tore her house apart and we discussed the woes of moming. There’s the working mom guilt that you never get to spend enough time with your kids, and then on the weekends you try, but you also need hubby/family time, but then there’s you a time and you could really use a trip to the salon or a few hours to buy new bras because pregnancy and breastfeeding has forever changed your boobs; but then you aren’t with your kids; and you need new Spanx because summer is coming and dresses and inner-thigh-chub-rub; so you need time for the gym, but then you don’t see your kids, but those yoga classes would be great; and I want new shoes, but my kids got new shoes; Husband says buy something and treat yourself, but shouldn’t I be starting a college fund; and oh my god my roots, seriously, that hair appointment; and I really just need a minute to not be grabbed and yelled at and stop shrieking; wow I’m gonna miss this Monday; damnit your head is hard, I think I lost a tooth… Aren’t they precious when they’re sleeping?

Happy 2nd birthday to these two monsters.
That sums up about 20 minutes in my head. The good thing is that after talking with my friend this weekend I know I’m not alone.

This is the eternal Mom Struggle. The idea of “having it all” when in reality all we should really be striving for is a little balance and to avoid getting our teeth knocked out by toddler heads (why are they so hard?). No one ever asks men how to have it all, or how they balance everything, yet in many homes men take on equal roles, helping with housework and kids and so on, and no one ever asks them about “it all.”

What the fuck does that mean anyway?

It’s some arbitrary bullshit people made up to be able to say dumb things to women when they work and have kids, when in reality that just makes us parents. Whether your job is in the house, raising kids, going to an office, traveling for work or whatever, you have to make it work, and that includes getting some me time (which also applies to dads).

So take some time. Get brunch with friends, fix those roots, buy a new bra that actually fits your boobs, wax something or just shut the bathroom door after the kids go to bed and drink wine while sitting in the bathtub. Whatever it is get some, and then make sure your significant other gets some too. It’ll help everyone be just a little bit better at that whole life/parenting thing.

No comments: