Cat in Heels

This year I got an office for my birthday. OK, so it wasn’t actually for my birthday, but the day before my birthday the IT guy came over and moved my computer and phone, gave me a bigger monitor and a keyboard with one shift key that only works if you punch the hell out of it, and I had to gather up my piles of paper and my drawer of shoes (how does that keep happening?) and moved into my own private space. Now I have a door and can shut it for conference calls, or so I can eat lunch in private. Now I can hang my coat on the back of the door instead of in the community coat closet where it comes out smelling of other people’s perfumes, cigarettes and other general odors. This would be a great picture if someone wasn't crying and everyone would look at the camera.  Now I have four white walls staring at me, reminding me that I’m a crappy mom who can’t get her shit together and get some damn photos of her kids for her office. I have a phone that is bursting with pho...

I get teased for keeping a drawer of shoes at work. Not by other women, because they totally understand, but when my IT guy comes up and wants to see the laptop I travel with and I open a drawer full of shoes and one laptop, there are comments. This zipper is screwed.  Well, as of today all you who don't understand and give me funny looks can kiss my ass because that shoe drawer came in handy when my beloved (and worn) Kensie boots decided to drop dead at the office. When I was zipping up my boots this morning I noticed that there was a little irregularity in the zipper and it caught. So I did what we would all do, and I forced the zipper closed, knowing this probably wouldn't end well and praying it would get through the day. Those boots didn't make it to my second cup of coffee. I looked down to check on them and the zipper split. I said a bad word (shocking), unzipped the boot and a small shower of zipper teeth came tumbling to the floor and the zipper came...

A few days ago I couldn't find the shoes I was looking for in the closet. There I am, rushing around, getting ready for work, probably brushing my teeth while trying not to trip on a shoe and end up bleeding to death on the floor of my closet with a stiletto in my temple, and I couldn't find my damn navy blue heeled loafers. Finally I gave up, grabbed a different pair and ran off to work. Once I got to the office all my suspicions were confirmed. The missing shoes were sitting in a drawer. Yep, a drawer. Some people own less shoes than I keep at work. I have managed to create a shoe drawer at work in one of my file cabinets. It's rare that I travel to work in certain shoes, especially when it's raining or snowing. Sure, cheap shoes put up with crap weather, but rain ruins suede and tweed, sidewalk construction can rid the patent off a pair of covered heels, and snow...I don't even feel the need to explain myself. As a result of big city living, I often c...