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Corporate Shoe Rule

I am the worst corporate person ever.

Well, not really. Actually I rock at my job. Hard. But I've also always stood out in office settings. Apparently I'm not all button-up and stuffy.

I can be button up, but depending on the outfit I have this uncanny ability to make button-ups look kind of porno. Yep. Take a properly fitted and darted shirt, pair it with a pencil skirt, heels and a D cup and suddenly you've gone from "professional chic" to "naughty secretary." I have a similar problem when I put a vest on with anything.

My version of professional
That said, the litany of meetings requiring honest to goodness professional clothes (ie: button downs, trousers and jackets) has been insane the last couple weeks, and will continue to do so from the looks of things. So while I'm trying to make sure my jacket covers my breasts as opposed to frames them, and that there's no gaping between the shirt buttons, I never took into account that I'm apparently breaking the Corporate Ladies Shoe Rule.

Always wear sensible black pumps.

Reese Pump in Black Sharpshooter Color: Chocolate, Size: 7.5, Width: M
Sensible, but boring.
I was sitting in a meeting of mostly women when I realized that I was one of two people in a room of 30 not wearing black pumps. I was wearing red sling backs and another lady was wearing a snake skin heel. The whole rest of the room was clad in black of varying textures, heel heights and materials. Some ladies got crazy and had a small embellishment on their shoe, but that was it.

Was there some kind of memo I missed? Did I not attend class that day in college? What the hell is with the black pumps?

I have no problem admitting that I own a few pairs of black shoes. One of them even fits into the pump category and is downright boring. They're also hideously uncomfortable and never get worn. Instead I opt for something a little more exciting that coordinates with my outfit. That's how I end up with heeled saddle shoes, stiletto oxfords and black heels with a square toe. They're professional yet retain some elements of fun and fashion.

Or maybe they're not professional.  Like I said, apparently I missed that memo.