Sunday, February 20, 2011

If the shoe doesn't fit...

Despite my love of shoes because they always love me, there are exceptions to this. Mainly boots. Knee high boots. These beautiful, sexy, leg-enhancing pieces of art for your feet and legs do not always get along with me. 

Because apparently I have man calves.

At least according to some of the assholes who make boots I do. Apparently dancing and walking make you develop large calves that don't fit boots with an average 10 inch calf circumference. My older sister, BK, also has this problem and she runs. A lot. Like freakishly runs. Running while pregnant kind of fitness. For her four miles is a season starting warm up. And she has problems finding knee-high boots that fit her properly.

This week at a cocktail party, I became aware that it's apparently not just my sister and I who have this man calf, giant leg problem.  As I walked around smiling and chatting, there is a woman who caught my eye. She was wearing a hot pink top with matching lipstick, leggings and a pair of heeled Christian Dior knee high boots. And her boots didn't fit her calves. But she wore them anyway, and only zipped them halfway.

I'm pretty sure that's not how Dior intended they be worn. 
Just because they're designer doesn't mean they fit.

I get it. You have nice Dior boots and want to wear them to the fancy cocktail party, hobnob with people, network, and impress them with your designer footwear and matchy-matchy top and cosmetics. The problem is they boots kind of lose something when they are only zipped halfway up your leg. Like their class.

I am sure I was not the only one who noticed. I'm just the only one nasty enough to sneak a picture to illustrate my point.

Sometimes shoes can be like clothes. They just don't fit. It's got nothing to do with you, it's just the way they were made. I'm sure these great black Dior boots had a eight inch circumference and were only made for women with stick legs, and it's really unfortunate that this woman, who was not at all large, could not fit in them.

I've been there. I have endless problems finding knee high boots that fit, and no amount of diet or exercise makes my calves any smaller. They're not fat and I don't have cankles. I just have a muscular build that does not work well with 98% of the boots available for purchase. 

So I suck it up, move on and find something else to wear. I have hundreds of pairs of shoes and boots. I always manage to find something to buy and wear. When you're shopping, it can become evident that some things just aren't meant to happen, and sometimes it's got nothing to do with you. At that point you just move on, because just like clothes, people can tell when your shoes don't fit.

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