Who owns this bag?

I hate airport security. Not only is it inconvenient, and you have to take your shoes off, but I'm terrified of being searched.

Which, given my frequent traveling and carry on luggage, periodically happens.


The suspicious bags and coat.



Today I get to thank LaGuardia for running my giant, hot pink bag through the x-ray machine so many times I think it may have cancer, and unpacking my carry on twice.

Because the first time they weren't satisfied that my makeup bag was the offending object. Convinced there was still something hidden in the one compartment carry-on, they pulled out blazers, shoes, knee highs, panties, hair brushes and shoes twice.

Of course this attracts attention, because everyone wants to know what kind of contraband the girl in the ruffled designer trench coat with a giant ruffled purse is carrying in her enormous, loud, pink bag.

Turns out contact solution may have been the problem. Or a shoe, which security kept telling me she loved. At one point I was afraid she was going to confiscate my heels.

Regardless, LGA got a hell of a show. Especially the guy who stood at the doorway to watch them unpack my bag twice, probably trying to get a glimpse of panty.

Creep.