Monday, October 24, 2011

High Maintenance in Heels

Generally I am not a magazine person. I used to be, but that's when I was in high school and the Internet was all slow and dial up, and it took 20 minutes to load a page.

Somehow I ended up on a mailing list for a couple magazines though. One about destination weddings (which I didn't have), one fitness magazine (I us it as a coaster for my vodka) and one fashion magazine.

Believe it or not, I actually read the fitness and the fashion magazine, as if I'll somehow get prettier and have better abs through osmosis. Of course, then I run into an article that reminds me why I don't read fashion magazines.

An article on the secret messages your outfit is sending men, sent me into a tizzy this weekend. Mostly because I don't give a shit what message my outfit sends (I dress for me, not some dude) and the advice therein was beyond stupid.

Among the brilliant tidbits:

  • Logos on your clothes mean you shop a lot (I always thought it meant you're totally uninspired)
  • Shapeless clothes mean you think you're fat (Ummmm...this is so dumb I don't know what to say)
  • Skimpy clothes mean you'll wear hot pants to a funeral (this relationship is moving fast)
  • And my favorite: High heels means you're high maintenance. 

I would like to take a moment right now to tell the male writer of this idiotic article to fuck off.

Don't analyze my heels, just admire them. 
I disagree with every point he makes, from logos to frump and the bullshit about the funeral in between. But especially about the shoes.

High heels do not mean you're high maintenance. They mean you're wearing high heels. Maybe you're short or they match the outfit. Maybe they're new. Maybe you had a business meeting or simply look like a stupid little hobbit in flats.

Maybe it's so douche bags like this guy don't talk to you.

Can high maintenance women wear high heels? Of course, but they can also wear gym shoes, ballet flats and Crocs (although I actually find this last option to be least likely). I've been wearing heels for years, and I don't consider myself to be high maintenance at all. I'm snobby, aggressive, swear too much, work too much, drink too much, talk too loud, and a variety of other independent and unladylike things, and if there's any maintaining that needs to be done I can do it my damn self.

1 comment:

Rasana said...

:D totally agreed!!! :))

http://ladymystiqua.blogspot.com/