Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Three Inch Rule

I have a new rule. All shoes with heels over three inches must have a platform. 

Why? Because I have walking around like a freaking ballerina on my toes. You know how slow you walk when you're in a pair of five inch heels, no platform, uneven sidewalks, and are really only 5'4"? 

Really blasted slow. 

They look so great. Too bad they suck.
Such is the problem with my new red Colin Stuart boots. The ones I love. I was so excited to get them. Red suede scrunch boots. They were going to go with everything. Become a wardrobe staple over jeans and sweaters. Pull them on and go on adventures throughout the city. Maybe even travel to new cities together. I had such plans for these boots!

Then they showed up with their five inch heel and no platform and force me to stand in releve and walk en pointe. Suddenly my red boot adventures went straight to hell (which is where some people think you go if you wear red boots anyway). 

Now I can't traipse around the city, or anywhere. I can teeter along, hoping to not hit the sidewalk at a funny angle and fall all stupid, ruining the suede when I inevitably land in a dirty puddle. Plus all my weight is now jammed onto my first four toes (because the little one is useless) and I'm in pain after a block. 

This simply will not do. 

So one shopping trip in and my red boots are being all but retired. Now they are the boots that allow me to stand a look pretty, or sit and be the girl with the great shoes. But they won't go anywhere. They won't be worn as much as they should have been, and I don't love them as much. And all because they violated (and created) my new three inch rule. 

Over a three inch heel: you need a platform. Otherwise you're just a pain in the foot. 

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