Monday, May 24, 2010

Never a comeback

A few days ago I got a Facebook message from a horrified friend.

"The people on the radio said fanny packs are back. You really need to address this in your blog."

But I write about shoes...

So today we take a break from shoes, and go into the world of accessories. Bags really aren't that far from shoes anyway, and some people insist that their bags and shoes should always match, but I always figured those people only have like three pair of shoes, because really, who has that much room? 

I digress.

I'm not much of a TV or radio person, so I Googled it, and judging by dates, fanny packs (or belt bags as one site called them) are always on the verge of coming back.

2007, 2008, 2009, and yes, 2010 were all the year that the fanny pack was going to make a comeback. Really, who decides this? And who thought that this was a good idea in the first place?

If you really have that much stuff to carry, buy a purse, or a man bag, a messenger bag, a murse (man purse), but for the love of God, don't get a fanny pack! One mom site said they're convenient because you don't need to bend over to get your stuff out or keep it mixed into the diaper bag.

This makes me think that this lady needs to rethink the strap length on her purse if she's bending over to get stuff out, and maybe not pack a week's worth of diapers for a trip to the mall if you can't find your car keys in that cavernous diaper bag. Or put them in a different compartment. Really, is it that hard?

The new fanny packs are apparently multi use too. We've moved on from the neon nylon atrocities, and these new ones come in other fabrics, and with more compartments, including ones that have a concealed gun holster, holds a bottle of water, tethers your child to you, or carries your dog. Really, I cannot make this stuff up.

What tasteless designers, fashion challenged moms, some men, the chronically  dehydrated, and rednecks need to realize is that fanny packs were never in style, and they never will be. They're not back, because they were never here, and we all make fun of people who wear them.

I may also make fun of the guy with a murse, but way less than if he was rocking a fanny pack.

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