Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Shoe porn and barefeet

The other day I got a text from my brother-in-law. It said Vibram FiveFingers and then a link.

Now, maybe there's something wrong with me, but my immediate thought was, "Why am I getting porn SPAM from the BIL?" Then I realized that texts aren't SPAM, and there's no way he'd send me porn (because that's weird) and it had to be something else. So I took a deep breath and clicked on the link.

I'm pretty sure I would have rather seen porn.

Instead there are pictures of people's feet adorned in those awful hobbit feet, rubber shoe things. Which I guess are kind of like porn because they're obscene looking, and kind of like a foot condom.

I must have taken a while because then he sent a text, "Cat in fingers?"

Ummm...no. I understand it's the closest thing to being barefoot, and that's good, and it's anatomically correct, and designer shoes are still more expensive and definitely not as comfy, but the fact remains that they're just not cute.

No one is going to go rolling into a cocktail party with those things paired with a suit or dress. They may help save your feet (of which you only get two I was reminded), but that's no excuse for looking like a neon hobbit. In fact, a couple months ago I got into a Facebook discussion with a friend when I posted a picture of someone at the bus stop wearing them (ironically with a suit). It was hideous and scarring, and I hope to never see it again.

So you can take your anatomical shoes with their individual toes. I won't stand in your way, but I may make fun of you. And if I ever feel the need to be barefoot, I'll just take off my heels.

1 comment:

dc said...

I feel like these should only be worn in the house (where nobody innocent can see them), if worn at all.