Saturday, July 16, 2011

Accessorizing feet

Accessories are a cruicial part of a woman's life. Or at least they are in my life. I love a good necklace or pair of earrings as much as the next person. Once you're done adorning lobes, fingers and toes, there's still the shoes.

Removable studs give added versatility.
Shoe accessories seem to have been popping up more and more. From the uniquely named, and brilliant Heel Condoms that transform a pair of shoes, to your basic Foot Petals, each pair of shoes heels can be modified and trussed up from the inside out. Online boutique Erica Giulani offers such a wide range of beautiful, high-end accessories you can practically double the shoes in your closet with everything from bow and chains to fur covers and straps.

Then there's the other weird crap that people try to pass off as acessories. The Heel Protector (creatively named) "stop tears, nicks and scuffs to your favorite high heels caused from sidewalk cracks, car mats, cobblestones, lawns and much more."

The downside to all this is that they look stupid and you're obviously not qualified to walk or ride in cars if you're ripping your heels up on cracks large enough to rip a heel and floor mats.

Seriously, how do you tear a heel on a floor mat?

Then there's the Heels Above or Sole Mate High Heeler which allow you to walk in grass without airating the lawn. This hideous little disc slips on the bottom of your heel and provides a large, cheap plastic surface for you to stand on. They're recommended for weddings and outdoor events.

I bet these look cool on. 
I have an idea for outdoor weddings and events. If sinking into the ground is really something that concerns you so much you'd ruin your shoes with these plastic things, maybe you should get different shoes. Like a wedge or a flat. Cute and not made of the same plastic as dollar store stoys. 

And in case you were thinking that these hideous little contrapions are clear so they wouldn't be noticed, that's only one of the available colors. They also come in black, gold and silver glitter and glow in the dark.

Why in the holy hell would you want to highlight the fact that you can't walk on grass in your shoes?

Maybe the non-plastic accessories are for the people who don't wear heels a lot and can't walk in them anyway. Or maybe it's for the truly neurotic who don't want anything to happen to their precious shoes. But if your obsession is keeping stuff clean, I highly recommend finding something to love that you don't put your feet in and walk outside on.

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