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Jane Pratt Should Let Me Write for Her

If you've ever paid any passing attention to magazines and publishing then you know the name Jane Pratt. She is the founding editor of Sassy, then Jane, and now

When I was younger and reading Sassy (because I am that old), I wanted to write for them. By the timeSassy had gone, Jane was hanging around, and I was more into Cosmopolitan, Vogue and finding a job than moving to New York to work for Jane Pratt.
I missed this issue...
I graduated college with my degree in communications with a concentration in print journalism,

My younger sister, who was a devout fan of Jane, now follows Now totally online, has more articles than the magazine, a bunch of writers, and a strong Twitter presence. My sister also loves sending me articles from there, and this week managed to send two of the dumbest damn columns about shoes I may have ever read.

Considering the drivel I sometimes turn out on shoes, that's saying something.

First, we have Nicole and "Why I won't wear high heels, ever again." Seriously? Ever? Because that's a long fucking time and maybe one day something may come up that makes you want to wear them. Or you have to because you're an adult female and that's one of the things we do sometimes.

I'll save you the pain of reading this piece of nonsense and sum it up with the fact that this Toms, orthotics wearing she-man who works from home hates heels because they hurt her once and her dad said that sensible shoes are better.

Super easy to only wear orthopedic boots when you don't have to put on pants to go to work.

I get it. She walks a lot and doesn't like heels, and that's fine. They're not for everyone, But she is such a nasty troll about other people's shoe decisions that it aggravating as hell.  She also can't write a conclusion and the article ends abruptly like a car crash.

She writes for Jane Pratt and didn't ever go to journalism school. I only assume this since she can't write. Maybe I'm wrong. Regardless, she can keep her "comfy shoes," long walks through Manhattan and granny panties (because she hates thongs). I'll stick with cute shoes, girly underthings and cabs.

Today I got another silly article from my sister, who is now convinced that I should be writing about shoes for This one from Brooke, who declares that she still wears stilettos even though she's a mom.

Guiseppe Zanotti heels that I will wear around children
Good for her, right? It's hard to chase kids in heels. And yoga pants are not acceptable for everyday wear. But she stresses how she dresses up like an adult, and looks nice, and brushes her hair, puts on lipstick and stuff even though she's a mom...

What the fuck people?

I know lots of moms who still use a brush and wear heels. When did it become OK to not do those things and now is this even vaguely noteworthy? I have a small niece and nephew, and step kids, and I wear heels all the time. And lipstick. I also have a full time (plus) job.

So you'd think this stay at home mom could find time to brush her hair without thinking she deserves a freaking award.

I need to find the submission guidelines for, because if this is the kind of drivel they find acceptable, I can totally help generate some copy for them. Maybe I can even offer up some real advice on shoes that doesn't involve never wearing heels ever or how to not turn into a troll-mom. An article from someone who actually leaves their house everyday may be just the thing xoJane needs.

Plus, my teenage self still wants to become best friends with Jane Pratt.