Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I would die

Last night I went to see The Crazies, the remake of the old George Romero film, which is not much like the original (which I have apparently seen at a film fest but don't remember it).

It's a great psuedo-zombie film where people in a small Iowa town start going absolutely bonkers and killing each other with no provocation. Lots of running, shooting and bleeding ensues, and I'll stop there before I spoil the movie.

So there's lots of running and walking, and since they're in Iowa, a lot of it is cornfields and deserted highway. At one point the characters are running through some open dirt field, and I came to a conclusion: if that was me, I'd die.

Not die because I didn't want to live, or because I was in the middle of Corn Town, Iowa and can't find a reason to keep living in the middle of nowhere, but because I'd probably fall over and die. Really. I would be wearing some asinine shoe and fall over, not be able to run, break my ankle, something. Point being, I would not be able to run and I would be eaten by zombies. Just like the ones on my shoes.

Maybe I would be eaten by zombies while wearing my zombie shoes. That would be kinda cool.

But really, when is the last time someone survived a horror film that involved running (and they all involve running) and had cute shoes on. Usually they're pre-outfitted in something sensible like a combat boot and jeans, or minimally a pair of Nike. In horror films you don't even see people wearing those cute gym shoes that you can't wear to the gym because the have no support and aren't really meant for athletics. 

Let's hope zombies never attack, because chances are me and my stilettos won't make it.

No comments: