Monday, May 23, 2011

Puppy fits and empty threats

Anyone who has a dog has probably lost a pair of shoes to the dog. Or at least part of a pair of shoes.

My dog, Thor, chewed the strap off a Fluevog when he was a puppy after I drunkenly left it lying on the floor all night. Thank God they were able to fix it and restore my shoe to it's previous fabulousness.

My freak out must have left quite an impression on my little blonde chihuahua though, because now he knows how to press my buttons.

See, Thor hates it when you leave. Not all the time, but sometimes. There are days that you can come and go 50 times without him bothering to do anything other than get off the counch and wag at you. Then there are the days he freaks out and raises holy hell, running around whining, standing in the hall, not going back in the door, meeping and biting at your pants while crying real tears (I swear it).

Those days I know I'm coming home to some kind of mess.

Usually he'll just throw all the pillows off the couch, or pull the stuffing from an already torn up toy, showing me what a destructive little asshole he is.

Thor and his threats.
Then there's the shoe days.

Once he's thrown pillows, pulled out stuffing, and cried all his doggy tears, if he's still pissed, Thor goes for the shoes.

Little bastard knows how to hurt me.

He doesn't chew them. He doesn't toss them in the toilet or his water dish. He won't hide them or pee on them. Instead he leaves them in the middle of the hall, just outside the closet.

They're a warning.

"Do it again, and the shoes get it."

Recently he's even taken to finding matching shoes, so he's threatening with the destruction of a whole pair.

My dog really is kind of an asshole.

He's also spoiled beyond all compare, which is probably why he throws temper tantrums, has run of the house and can access my closet.

Still, I have faith that he won't chew again. He knows that if he ticks me off enough I may just trade him in for another pair of Fluevogs.

Well, maybe two pair.

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